Yesterday I did a thing. I took part in the Brighton Color (sic) Run, a 5k race along Brighton seafront.
This was rather unusual for me, as I don’t tend to regularly exercise. Or even irregularly exercise. I won the race entry as part of a competition to win a month’s supply of coconut water and thought “well, if nobody sponsors me, then I won’t bother”. Unfortunately people sponsored me - £175 so far, against a target of £100 - so I felt I had to go through with it.
I’d checked the weather all week and expected rain. Luckily the rain held off, and it was cloudy with a bit of a chill. Perfect running weather really. The post lately has been rather circumspect (it took me over a fortnight for a pair of Gillingham tickets to get here from Medway) and my race pack hadn’t arrived, so we got down to the starting point down by the Marina in plenty of time. I acquired my brilliant white t-shirt and got changed, then ambled around the starting area. There was a large stage set up with what I assume were instructers from the nearest Virgin Active gym there to warm everybody up with aerobics. I flatly refused to take part in this display of joy, instead dredging up stretches undertaken during Barton Court PE lessons all those years ago.
About 10 to 11 we were herded into the Start chute (which sounds like a really cool massive slide, but isn’t) to get going. Unfortunately the start was delayed by around 20 minutes so I did my best to keep limber/psyched up in the face of a brutal assault of pop songs (if I do this again solo next year then I’ll bring some music of my own - Master of Puppets would’ve been perfect in that situation). Just after ten past we got the signal to start and I passed under the starting banner bang on eleven minutes past eleven.
I planned to take it at a brisk walking pace, because I had all weekend to complete it and had done nothing to prepare my body for sudden exercise. I could see the first paint station (a bright pink inflatable) at the 1k mark along the course, and it was far nearer than I anticipated. I would be there in a jiffy, that would be 20% of the course done, I’d easily do it in my 30 minute target time!
One thing I hadn’t counted on was a detour. To bring the length up to 5k, it utilised the Duke’s Mound Doubleback - an up and back along a side road, that crucially went uphill. (Map link) An unexpected hill section this early on? Horrible. The downhill part was a lot easier, and my pace picked up along that bit, moving to the inside of the course to high-five those coming uphill.
I arrived at the first paint station to be greeted by the sounds of Guns ‘n’ Roses, a welcome change from endless Rihanna. I didn’t slow down, and wasn’t as covered in pink powdered paint as I should’ve been. Undeterred I continued my brisk walking pace, seeing others overtake me but content. My calves were aching a tad after the jog downhill, so I didn’t want to pace myself against someone fitter than me and knacker myself. As I passed Concord2, the point I knew to be halfway along the seafront road, I spotted someone coming the other way who had already been up and back and applauded him - he was clearly taking it far more seriously than me.
Up to the second paint station, this time a nice dark blue. Ahead of me someone lay down on the powder coated floor and rolled over a few times, getting good and covered. I stepped around them, but slowed through the gauntlet of paint throwers, making sure that they properly blue me. After this point I was regretting not bringing anything to drink with me, but was fairly sure that there was a water station further along. (Mind you, up until a conversation with a colleague on Monday, I was convinced that the race took place on Sunday, so didn’t trust my memory very much.) After passing several chip shops and bars, and a Burger King, I rounded the far end by the Brighton Eye and proceeded back towards the end, grabbing two bottles of water from a water station that thankfully did exist.
Approaching the 3k mark I saw a yellow haze in the air - time to get Simpsonified! Someone noted that I’d done well to escape the paint so far and challenged me to roll through it. Being far too cool to lie down and roll, I executed a haphazard forward roll instead and got a fair bit of colour on my no longer brilliant white t-shirt. Someone called me mellow yellow (quite rightly) as I strode back past Concord2. I passed a group of girls, the middle one of which was smugly commenting how she’d avoided getting too covered, unlike her friends. I walked up behind her and clapped my hands together over her head, showering her with loose yellow dust, and getting a cheer from her mates. Just before the fourth and final paint station (orange) I took a small diversion off the course, over the pavement alongside to a bin by the beach to dispose of my empty water bottle. Not sure I would’ve done so had I been as worn out as I expected, but as I was feeling fine I had no excuse to litter.
Through the final paint and on the home straight, the last few waves of participants were being released. I moved back to the inside of the course and high-fived as many people as I could - I was nearly at the finish and was feeling good about myself. I strolled across the finish line, checking my watch to see I finished in 34 minutes and 15 seconds. As I did I heard a voice calling my name. I looked around and saw my brother, who pointed out that I didn’t look very athletic as I finished, and would I mind going back over the line again to get a few posed pictures? Ever the poser I agreed, and slow-motion ran back over the line in my best over-the-top fashion, much to the amusement of the old lady next to Phil. He then suggested a collapsed picture, and I over-acted my best.
By this time Dana had caught up with us after taking pictures from the beach side of the course, and I decided to ignore the party in front of the stage, deciding that lying on the grass bank with my girlfriend and brother was much more preferable. We rested for a bit, then walked a further 3k to Kensington’s Cafe in town, where I had a lovely sausage, eggs, chips and beans.
