Aiming to misbehave

formspring.me

2011-06-23T21:08:00.001+01:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Jamesthegill

What's the most bizarre drink you've ever drunk? Nil points for Becherovka.

2010-12-02T21:03:00.001Z

What's the most bizarre drink you've ever drunk? Nil points for Becherovka.

Answer here

Boxer or briefs?

2010-11-23T20:58:00.001Z

Boxer or briefs?

Answer here

Relegation situation

2010-05-05T22:53:00.004+01:00

On Saturday it's the last proper game of the football season. (Don't worry, we've still got the World Cup.) After battling to win promotion last year Gillingham find themselves in danger of being relegated back down to that division at the end of this. Luckily, there are two teams below us who are in worse shape.

The dashed line between 20th (Exeter) and 21st (Tranmere) denotes the relegation spots - stay above the line and we're safe, drop below it and we're screwed. It'd be nice if we could stop the season one game early, but we can't. (It'd be even nicer if we could've stopped the season 45 games early after we beat Swindon 5-0 and went second in the table after one game, but still.)

On Saturday afternoon things all come to a head. We're away at Wycombe Wanderers (23rd). Tranmere have Stockport at home (24th) and Exeter host Huddersfield (6th).

Form guide

A lot of you might look at the table and think "oh, Wycombe are relegated, they have nothing to play for". Well, the same thing was said about Wrexham* ten years ago and look what happened. Also, out of 22 away games this season in the league we have got six draws and amassed 14 defeats. (That's no wins, if you think dolphins are gay sharks.) That includes a loss at Southend (relegated), Tranmere (could be relegated) and Exeter (could be relegated). Don't count on anything. Tranmere have (on paper) a fairly easy home game against the worst team in the league. Exeter's opponents, however, are gunning for a win and a good spot in the promotion shake up.

Permutations

If Gillingham win: it doesn't matter what Exeter and Tranmere do, we're safe and one of the others go down.

If Gillingham draw: we're probably safe, as long as Tranmere don't win by 16 goals or more. (For the record, their biggest league win ever was 13-4, so they'd have to break that record.) Even so if Exeter only lose or draw they'd go down instead, not us.

If Gillingham lose: and Tranmere and Exeter both fail to win (i.e. draw or lose) then we stay up. It'll be a shitty end to the season, but we'll survive. If we lose and only one of Tranmere or Exeter wins (the other drawing or losing) then the other will go down before us.

If Gillingham lose: and Tranmere and Exeter both win, then we're back in League 2 next season and James has a grumpy evening.

So that's it. Keep an eye out here for the Live Text link on Saturday afternoon if you're so inclined. I'm spending £33 on tickets and travel, plus extra on food, drink, booze etc so I hope it's all worth it. I've never seen Gillingham win an away game before though, so I'm not sure...

*Ten years ago we were in the same league but fighting to leave it the other way, through promotion, to the league above, which we'd never done before. With one game left all we had to do was win away at Wrexham and we'd be promoted automatically. We lost. Luckily we managed to get promotion via the playoffs and a last-minute-of-extra-time winner at Wembley, but still. Mention the word "Wrexham" to a Gills fan and watch him come out in cold sweats.

Postscript: Typical Gillingham, we went and lost 3-0. It was an uninspiring performance, only two players actually looked interested, and our "star striker" managed to miss an open goal from a yard out at 1-0. We got relegated, and said striker moved to Norwich, where he scored the goal that took them into the Premiership. Such is life.

formspring.me

2010-03-29T19:37:00.001+01:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Jamesthegill

Most listened to artists of 2009

2010-01-01T01:16:00.002Z

1 Rose Elinor Dougall 455
2 The Pipettes 417
3 Rilo Kiley 275
4 Metric 253
5 Rosie and The Goldbug 222
5 Glee Cast 222
7 Blood Red Shoes 213
8 Yeah Yeah Yeahs 211
9 Garbage 186
10 Rammstein 182
11 Little Boots 164
12 Miley Cyrus 150
13 Johnny Foreigner 147
14 Sky Larkin 134
15 Metallica 124
16 Bruce Springsteen 108
17 Led Zeppelin 104
18 The Donnas 102
19 The Subways 97
20 Rolo Tomassi 92
21 Katy Perry 77
22 Paramore 69
22 Jenny Lewis 69
22 Be Your Own Pet 69
25 Manic Street Preachers 67
26 AC/DC 66
27 The Dresden Dolls 65
28 The Answering Machine 62
29 The Long Blondes 61
30 Gwenno 58

Songs of the Decade: 10 - 1

2009-12-09T21:00:00.001Z

10. Rammstein - Sonne
Lazily described as "music to invade Poland to", Rammstein are...just Rammstein. Industrial dance metal in German. Incredibly over the top. This song/video was the first to get me into them. It famously made it into Kerrang's top 100 singles of all time despite never being released over here.

9. Ash - Burn Baby Burn
Sometimes you want songs that are intricate in their beauty, swooping and diving and incorporating half a dozen different genres in 7 minutes. Other times you just want something fun to jump around to. Ash fill the latter rather well.

8. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Oh piss off, I'm not a heartless beast. I like this song.

You don't have to listen to it if you don't want to, no embedding.

7. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes
That one threw you, didn't it? This song struck a chord with me over the summer of 2004 and probably helped me man the fuck up. That, and it managed to be single of the week on BBC Radio 2.

6. The Libertines - Can't Stand Me Now
Whatever you may think of Pete Doherty as a person, he co-wrote the odd great song. I think it may have been Phonogram who described this song as "you & me vs the world and each other" - it's a post pub pissed up celebration of all things fun.

5. William Shatner - Common People
Let's get one thing straight - the 15 year old original is a classic. However, sometimes a cover comes along that lends a new voice to it, and improves on it. The extra guitars on this make it the second best cover of the decade.

4. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
The most heartbreakingly beautiful love song I've ever heard, and then I heard the acoustic version.

3. Johnny Foreigner - Salt, Pepper and Spinderella
If you're thinking "why is a so-so indie band in the top three of the decade?" listen to this song and wait until 1:43 when the tempo really starts.

2. Johnny Cash - Hurt
If this video and song don't make you cry, you're not human.

1. Rilo Kiley - Portions For Foxes
If I had to pick a song that would be the only one I'd listen to for the rest of my life, it would be this one.

Songs of the Decade: 20 - 11

2009-12-02T21:00:00.000Z

20. Jimmy Eat World - The Middle
If this music video were a Friends episode, it would be "the one with the underwear party". The partial nudity of the video hides a surprisingly upbeat message for a band considered to be emo, and a cracking guitar solo at 1:38. Trivia: the album that this is from was originally titled Bleed American upon its release in July 2001. Any guesses why it was renamed Jimmy Eat World two months later?

19. Nathan Fillion - Everyone's a Hero
Gosh, two upbeat songs in a row! This is the show stopping, crowd rousing number from last summer's Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Made for about fourpence ha'penny, and featuring singing, Joss Whedon's writing, Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion, it was obviously going to be popular with me.

18. Jenny Lewis - See Fernando
Jenny Lewis is one of only two women I've ever been rendered completely speechless by their beauty. (Summer Glau doesn't count - she scares me into silence.) Here's the stunningly gorgeous redhead singing undoubtedly the highlight of her (hit and miss) second solo album - if you don't dance, you're inhuman.

17. Blood Red Shoes - This Is Not For You
Hah! I bet you thought they'd be higher, didn't you? Well, don't try and second guess me again. An absolutely blinding, powerful song, with a great video in which you're never too sure whether Steve and Laura-Mary are going to kill each other or fuck each other. The second best single from the album, and if the original video for Say Something Say Anything had been released, that would probably have taken top spot. As it happens, click the link below, and enjoy this.

Embedding disabled by request.

16. Amanda Palmer - Oasis
A jaunty, Beach Boys style poppy number about date rape, abortion and Britpop bands. Sure to be in the Daily Mail's top ten of the decade.

15. Garbage - Tell Me Where It Hurts
Hah! Fool you again! The lead-off single from their long awaited Greatest Hits album, it's not as good as their mid 90s heights but it's still a beautiful song. Now slightly tarnished by the fact that every time I watch this video my mind is thinking "OMG she's a Terminator save John Connor run stop Skynet!"

14. Rosie And The Goldbug - Lover
Every so often you'll hear a song by a band you've never heard of before that, as soon as it ends, makes you think "I need to hear that again". You'll end up spending an entire evening listening to it on repeat and forcing people to hear it so that they enjoy its awesomey goodness. Last December, this was that song.

13. Embrace - Ashes
I didn't put this song in here because of the cricket in 2005. While it does lead to good memories, uplifting feelings and a general happy emotion, that's not what I associate with this song. If, the moment you hear the opening bars, you think of Kristen Bell on the back of a custom bike riding along a clifftop highway towards a limo pulled in by a broken crash barrier, and a hoard of moneyed teens gaping at a floating school bus, then I'm right there with you. It's played at the end of the season two opener of Veronica Mars, probably one of the best episodes of television this decade. (Oooh, idea!)

12. Duke Spirit - Lion Rip
This is a song I usually close mix CDs with. It's an absolutely freight train of a song, thundering towards the end, building and building to an apocalyptic climax aided and abetted by some fantastic machine gun guitar work.

11. Raveonettes - That Great Love Sound
The first boy/girl duo I ever fell for. Both impossibly pretty, this video plays on the mythical sexual tension that lazy journalists invent whenever there's a girl in the band.

So with Garbage, Blood Red Shoes, Los Campesinos, Rose Elinor Dougall, Dr Horrible, Buffy all out of the way, who on earth will make up the top ten? Expect a few that'll make you go "seriously? wtf?" and a pair that'll make you go "oh, of course!" in the top ten.

Songs of the Decade: 30 - 21

2009-11-20T18:00:00.001Z

30. Metric - Dead Disco
No, not Little Boots' former band, but a track by Canadian rockers Metric. Almost disco-rock in combining the synths and guitars, this was what broke them in the UK.

29. Goldfrapp - Strict Machine
Back when I was at uni we used to spend all our lunchtimes in the Penny Theatre (a Scream pub) round the corner abusing their cheap burgers. On the video jukebox they used to play a random selection and on came this kaleidoscopicly surreal track. One of those songs that you can't help to dance to.

Go here and have a listen.

28. Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends
I remember downloading this in 2003 when it was originally released. It lay undisturbed on an old playlist CD for years before being dug out again when I started watching Veronica Mars - this being the extremely apt title song. Again, it dropped off my radar until September this year - walking into HMV in town I spotted someone from school who, let's say, the intervening years have not been kind to - just as this song came on the in-store PA system. Perfect timing.

27. OK Go - Get Over It
Possibly the only music video to ever use the lyrics of the song as a starting point for content. Go watch it here.

26. Distillers - City Of Angels
Way back in 2002, towards the end of the beautifulgarbage era, Garbage were supporting No Doubt on their USA arena tour. Kerrang magazine had an interview along the lines of women in rock (always a good thing with me) and interviewed Shirley Manson & Gwen Stefani, the lead singers of the two bands, as well as Brody Armstrong (as she was then) of the opening band The Distillers. As I sat down to read it at home this video came on Kerrang TV (I was themed back then). In 2009 I saw Spinnerette (Brody's new band) in London, and she's still as cool as fuck.

25. Donnas - Take It Off
Four girls who grew up listening to classic rock bands such as Kiss, Judas Priest, Alice Cooper, and AC/DC. If you were to analyse my entire music tastes from the last 25 years and portion them out between the various factors, this band would be the result. Now enjoying a resurgence due to Rock Band/Guitar Hero needing bands with female vocalists.

Go listen to it here.

24. Los Campesinos! - You! Me! Dancing!
A few years ago I was made to listen to this band by Katy. I'm glad I did. A hectic multinational seven piece, there's more imagination and variety in this one song than in the entire musical output of a lot of chart bands.

23. Glee - Don't Stop Believin'
Most people reading this won't have heard of Glee. It's like High School Musical (no! come back!) if it were written by Tina Fey - full of snark and wit that holds up on repeated viewing. The pilot is showing on E4 on Tuesday 15th December at 9pm, and this cover of the Journey classic closes that episode.

Again, no embedding.

22. Florence & The Machine - Kiss With A Fist
I have to say that the rest of Florence's album didn't do it for me, but it's so different to the opening promise shown by this song that it's understandable. First promoted to me by Hannah, I lost the mp3 during a tidy of my computer, before hearing it again at Lounge on the Farm before Los Campesinos!'s set. It's not about spousal abuse, apparently.

No embedding.

21. Rose Elinor Dougall - Fallen Over
As the Manics' song at number 61 was the oldest song on this decade list, this one is the newest, being released only three days ago. However, I've loved it since the first time I ~~stalked~~ saw Rose live back in April. Due to the low budget nature of the label, there's not even a video for me to link to, so check it out at Rose's Myspace.

Songs of the Decade: 40 - 31

2009-11-17T20:34:00.005Z

40. The Barbs - Massive Crush
Pop-punk band, with boy/girl lyrics, and a hot chick bassist? No, it's not the Subways - the Barbs actually came first and had the Subways support them on an early tour. What's more odd is that half of the band come from Chatham in Kent, not really known for being an indie hotspot.

39. Auf der Maur - Followed The Waves
Hot redheaded bassist. One of only two lead singers who play bass as well, alongside Lemmy (although I'm sure people will no doubt contradict me on that). The last time I saw her live was in 2004, after the August Bank Holiday weekend, at the Astoria. The band opening that gig were a small-time three piece outfit called The Subways.

No embedding once again.

38. Queens Of The Stone Age - Go With The Flow
A quite brilliant, possibly racist, definitely sexual video. Josh Homme is the lucky sod married to Brody Dalle (formerly of The Distillers, and now of Spinnerette) and allegedly kicked his childhood friend out of his band for spousal abuse.

Another one Universal don't want me to embed.

37. Easyworld - Bleach
Self described as "the only young people in Eastbourne who aren't Toploader", this track was the first I heard by them and is still a cracking song to jump around to. The follow-up album, Kill The Last Romantic, was criminally depressing, and the band called it a day in 2004, after a decent slot at the V festival and joining up with Mark Lamarr to insult me on Radio 2.

36. Feeder - Just A Day
"We need a new video to promote our new single, but we're away on tour!" "I know, lets get the fans to film themselves singing along and making fools of themselves!"

35. Avril Lavigne - He Wasn't
I'm fairly certain that this is the last pop act on my list. Another one of those songs to jump around to and have fun with.

34. Bruce Springsteen - Outlaw Pete
There won't be many end-of-decade lists that have Avril Lavigne and Bruce Springsteen concurrently. The opening track from The Boss's latest album, it's an 8 minute epic which may or may not steal the riff from I Was Made For Lovin' You by Kiss.

33. Jace Everett - Bad Things
If you've been keeping up with the popular vampire thing based on the series of books that everybody loves, featuring a shapeshifter and a vampire competing for the heroine's affections, and a telepath finding love with someone they finally can't read, then you'll know all about this song. If you think the above sentence refers to Twilight and not True Blood, then congratulations, you've got a fantastic series of well-written vampire/shapeshifter/werewolf/weretiger/faerie/etc books ahead of you.

32. Nu - Any Other Girl
Nu were a Norwegian disco-pop band who I got into in the early part of this decade. I believe they've split up now (their site produces a 404) but due to their amazingly un-Google-friendly name I've not been able to find out much else. I can't even find a proper music video - just this fan vid (featuring Cordelia Chase).

31. Pretty Girls Make Graves - Speakers Push The Air
Possibly the most beautiful opening few bars of a song ever.

Songs of the Decade: 50 - 41

2009-11-11T22:38:00.004Z

50. Long Blondes - Separated By Motorways
I saw the Long Blondes live twice. Both times they bored me. That didn't stop them being quite excellent on record, however, and this is still a cracking song. Never mind that the band just remind me of Laura from the Phonogram Singles Club series of comic books.

49. Be Your Own Pet - Take That Walk
BYOP were the first band I followed from underground through press stardom to breakup. I saw them in nearly every London gig they ever played, and they helped me gain some cracking friends. I first heard of them on a radio show about female singers - the complete history of me and them has been better covered here.

48. The Subways - Oh Yeah
Mind you, if I thought BYOP had an effect on my life, it's nothing compared to the Subways. Granted, I may have had my disagreements with the lead singer, but they're the band I've seen the most live (so far) and they introduced me to a fuckload of cool people, and other bands indirectly from them.

Still can't help but sing "Cal's Mum" instead of the title though.

47. Maximo Park - Apply Some Pressure
Maximo are one of those bands that I feel I really ought to listen to more, but I've tried and I've never really had that connection to them. That said, Maximo were great the only time I've seen them live (and that despite being cold, wet and pissed off with Glastonbury) and I do like this song.

46. Graham Coxon - Freakin' Out
Met him once, at a festival in Finsbury Park. Incredibly tall man. Used to be in Blur, don't you know?

45. The Kills - The Good Ones
Sleazy, bluesy, but oh so sexy. Makes a bassline sound like a sexual predator.

44. Dragonforce - Through The Fire & The Flames
Any comment I post won't do it the justice that this link will do. Go there, it explains everything.

43. Go Home Productions - Ray Of Gob
In the early part of this decade mashups were the craze. The vocals from one song mixed with the instruments of another. The trend was killed off rather expertly by the Sugababes (in their 65465465th incarnation) mashing Gary Numan with Tubelord's "Are Friends Electric?" but before that we had some fantastic mashes, including this one of Madonna's Ray Of Light with the Sex Pistols' God Save The Queen.

42. Dresden Dolls - Coin Operated Boy
From the sublime to the quite frankly bonkers. Two musicians, one drummer who plays the instrument like he's afraid they'll rise up and overpower him, and one pianist who sings. Words can't do it justice.

It's not about sex toys.

41. Charlotte Hatherley - Bastardo
Spot the stars! Simon Pegg! David Walliams! Emma Frost! Directed by the guy who did Hot Fuzz/Shaun Of The Dead/Scott Pilgrim! The fabricated tale of which earnt me a 1st for a presentation on eBay, which was the only 1st I ever got during four years at university!

Songs of the Decade: 60 - 51

2009-11-04T18:22:00.001Z

60. She & Him - Why Did You Let Me Stay Here?
She is a kooky indie actress who has been in several under-appreciated films (and sleep walked her way through M.Night Shyamallamadingdong's The Happening). Him is a renowned producer of the Bright Eyes/Rilo Kiley/Elected stable. Together they make sweet country songs. The video stars She (Zooey Deschanel) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt from the set of (500) Days of Summer.

59. Rolo Tomassi - I Love Turbulence
And from light melodic country stylings to screamo northern metal. Not so much loud-quiet-loud as scary-sweet-terrifying. Rolo Tomassi are a bit of a Marmite band - people don't tend to feel indifferent about them, they either love them or can't stand them.

58. Miley Cyrus - Fly On The Wall
I was sent the video embedded below by a friend who thought it was funny. Trying not to like anything Disney, I gave it a listen for the mistake (which proves she was singing live, and not miming either...) and to my dismay actually enjoyed the song. The album's not bad either. Give it a listen before pouring scorn.

57. Metallica - The Day That Never Comes
Metallica have only released two albums this decade, and St. Anger was utter tripe, so have the epic lead off single from Death Magnetic. It's one of those songs that starts off like Fade To Black and finishes like One. The video is worth checking out too, as it uses the song like a film score to build up tension and can be found here, but as they're on a major label embedding is impossible. So, have the band performing live on Later With Jools Holland.

56. Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl
You know the one. It was everywhere last summer. Good, fun pop music from a girl who counts Shirley Manson as one of her heroes.

Embedding disabled by request, so find it here.

55. Alphabeat - Fascination
I had this song stuck in my head throughout pretty much the whole of the Lounge on the Farm festival last summer. As I had a great time there, the song's got good connotations. There's an awful lot of pop songs on this list, isn't there?

54. Paramore - Crushcrushcrush
Hot female redhead singer, rock band. Of course this would appeal to me. Not only did I get to see them for just a fiver at a tiny fan club gig earlier this year, but being a good half a foot taller than everyone else in the crowd and able to pick up on new lyrics easily, me and Hayley had a moment of connection.

53. Operator Please - Leave It Alone
More bands need a violin section. OP would be a fairly normal indie band without the strings accompanying this song. Granted, they're all about 13 so they're not that normal, but still it adds something to it.

52. The Pipettes - Really That Bad
Of all the possible Pipettes songs I had to choose from, I've gone for a b-side. It's a song about the bad boy in class and wanting to tame him, and Rose takes lead vocals. Pretty obvious why I've chosen it. The video is from April 2007, almost a year before Rose left to pursue her solo career, and Becki was fired. The band's gone through more lineup changes than the Sugababes.

51. My Chemical Romance - Teenagers
Gerard Way plays a lead singer/fascist leader of a band. The Nazi style arm bands have two crossed hammers on. The video shows a rush of teens breaking through the door at the beginning. Now you may have read that and thought it sounded familiar. As Way has stated several times that the album this song is taken from (The Black Parade) is heavily based upon Pink Floyd's The Wall, even to the point where the album loops (the album starts with the second half of a sentence found at the end of the album) it's obviously a loving homage rather than a shameless ripoff.

Songs of the Decade: 70 - 61

2009-10-28T21:39:00.002Z

70. Tatu - All The Things She Said
Divebombing guitars meet Russian "lesbian" pop. Another band I look at this and think "christ, whatever happened to?"

69. Tsunami Bomb - Take The Reins
Wayyyyy back in the early days of Sky Digital, in the doldrums of the music channels there was a nu-metal/punk channel which played a lot of American artists I hadn't even heard of. This track, with the machine gun instruments and juxtaposing female vocals (oh look, another female vocalist) was one of the few that actually stood out amongst the fledgling emo/Me First & The Gimme Gimmes tracks.

68. Sarah Michelle Gellar - Something To Sing About
Life's a show, and we all play our parts. When the music starts, we open up our hearts... so, there's one of the tracks from the Buffy musical on here. I know Ms Geller's not the best of singers but it's my favourite of the songs featured. Strangely for a Very Special Musical Episode it actually fits in the story, advances the plot and isn't just an excuse for the cast members to sing contemporary tracks.

67. JJ72 - Snow
Possibly the earliest released song on this list, this is one of those "whiny indie vocals with a token hot girl" bands I was into in the early part of this decade. Six years after this song was released I met lead singer Mark Greaney after a Garbage gig where they supported and he gave me his backstage pass. I made it briefly on stage before being humorously removed by a security guard who at least saw the funny side of my pretend rockstardom.

66. Spinnerette - Sex Bomb
Not as good as Distillers, but very few bands would be. Motherhood matured Brody, and the newer releases show a richer, fuller sound. She's still as cool as fuck on stage.

65. Sky Larkin - Keepsakes
Sky Larkin are one of those bands that I got into accidentally. I knew them as part of the Los Campesinos/Johnny Foreigner stable, and when they were playing in a pub 30 seconds from work I went along because it was local. I enjoyed the gig, and saw them again with Petra a few months later, but it wasn't until I saw them at Cargo last month that I really fell in love with them.

Keepsakes is, annoyingly, nowhere to be found, so have the last single Antibodies instead.

64. Shirley Manson - In The Snow
Shirley Manson. Long term idol. One of three people I'll gladly follow blindly without question. (The other two being Andy Hessenthaler and Joss Whedon.) Occasional Terminator. Possible solo artist now that Garbage are on hiatus. She posted this demo on Facebook back in April, and it manages to be haunting, powerful, soaring, depressing and realistic at once.

63. Lily Allen - Not Fair
Lily Allen sings about orgasms. Or a lack of them.

Major label, no embedding. You've probably heard this already anyway.

62. Answering Machine - You Should Have Called
The song that made me realise that people can still be friends even after a breakup.

As it's never been released as a single, there's no video for it on YouTube. So have Cliffer instead.

61. Manic Street Preachers - The Masses Against The Classes
The first new number 1 of this decade, and it knocked Westlife off the top spot. It's the last Manics single that I've liked, as it's like a more polished version of the older, rawer, scarier, Holy Bible era Manics.

Songs of the Decade: 80 - 71

2009-10-21T20:48:00.000+01:00

Apologies for being late, I've been travelling. It will return to being a Wednesday night feature soon, I don't have that much of a life.

80. Giant Drag - Kevin Is Gay
One of many duos on this list, and definitely the most bonkers. Towards the end Annie forgets the words and just ends up meowing along. An odd video to go with an odd but kooky song.

It can be found here.

79. MGMT - Time To Pretend
You know this song. Even if you've just read that and thought "no way James, you're talking out of your buttocks once again. I have no idea who or what MGMT be, and I've never heard of this song in my life" you're wrong. (Unless you've been in a coma for the last 10 years and recently woke up, in which case hi Auntie Gwenno!) Just play it and listen, and you'll see. (Note: not the official video. But this one's just so cool.)

78. Eisley - Telescope Eyes
Yeah, it sounds like Avril Lavigne. I don't care. I like them, despite them reminding me of my ex. Bonus points: add this to a playlist with a New Found Glory song and Misery Business by Paramore to pay tribute to American love triangles.

77. Delays - Long Time Coming
Back story. I bought this single on the day of release on the say-so of a girl I had a thing for at the time. Listened to it a few times, wasn't grabbed by it, then sold the vinyl when me and girl had a falling out. Fast forward a few years and it soundtracks a scene in my favourite ever Veronica Mars episode. Suddenly I realise just how awesome it is. (So awesome, that there are 76 better songs released in the last 10 years.)

76. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Ain't No Easy Way
Sometimes you need a bit of a bluesy sounding steel guitar. I loved this song so much I had it on my mp3 player twice, and considering it was only a 512mb capacity back then that shows my devotion.

Listen to it here.

75. Wolfman feat. Pete Doherty - For Lovers
I'm not Pete Doherty's biggest fan. Not by a long shot. However, this song tugs at the heartstrings. Maybe it's the Francophile in me loving the location of the video, but still it snuck onto this list.

74. Tilly And The Wall - Reckless
Instead of a rhythm section, Tilly and the Wall have a tap dancer. Sadly I felt that they didn't live up to the standards on the album set by this song, but that doesn't stop this track from managing to be cute, sweet, hopeful and depressing at once.

73. TV On The Radio - Staring At The Sun
I have to say, I first heard this song via the Subways' cover of it on an early single. Way back when I adored the band and didn't just follow them on Twitter to argue with the lead singer, I hunted down the original and liked it even more. It's a very original sound, difficult to describe but worth listening to.

72. The Stills - Still In Love Song
Way back when I was mooning over the girl mentioned in #77 this was on MTV2 all the bloody time. It was one of those songs that just happened to sync up perfectly with my mood.

71. Sons And Daughters - Johnny Cash
I first downloaded this song thinking it was a mislabelled mp3 on Limewire in early 2004. It wasn't, but I gave it a listen anyway. I'm fairly sure it wasn't intended as a tribute to the man in black, but the freight train beat, the dry country sound and the dark lyrics means it's damn near as good an epitaph as a song which will feature higher in this list. Much, much higher.

Songs of the Decade: 90 - 81

2009-10-14T20:55:00.002+01:00

90. Muse - Feeling Good
I've never really bought into the hype about Muse (the only time I saw them live, at Reading 2006, I was more interested in my cheesy chips) but I do love myself a nice interesting cover version.

89. Katy Rose - Overdrive
Katy Rose was one of those in the same mould as Avril Lavigne and Ashlee Simpson - one of those 'edgy' but tween safe female pop stars who have the guitars turned up higher in the mix than normal. For whatever reason Katy didn't quite work out, but then we did get this gem from the Mean Girls soundtrack:

88. Polly Scattergood - I Hate The Way
From the popular, teen comedy soundtrack songs directly to Little Boots' evil younger sister. Ok, they're not actually related, but it's electro-synth-pop with an extremely dark edge to it. This song, and a track in the low 30s, are the reasons why I'll blindly accept any music Hannah sends me.

87. Coldplay - Fix You
Despite most of their output being bland and dull (I spent 40 minutes of Parachutes thinking "ok, the guitars'll kick in now, and it'll get better) this song really touched me at Glastonbury in 2005, standing in a soggy field drunk up to the eyeballs on vodka.

Big band, proper record label, no embedding. Boo.

86. Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
One of those songs that I like despite myself. I blame hearing it too much at work. Mind you, it does have a proper vampire in the video (real vampires don't sparkle!). Bonus fun fact: this video was directed by the same guy who directed Rammstein's latest, somewhat naughty, music video.

Major act, no embedding.

85. The Knife - Girls Night Out
More electro-pop. I'm noticing a theme here. Me liking this band is completely down to club night Never On A Sunday - what's even more impressive is that the club night doesn't exist outside of a comic book series called Phonogram.

84. White Stripes - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself
I'm not even going to comment on the song, just let the video do the talking.

83. AC/DC - Rock n Roll Train
Sometimes you want cheery electro-pop, sometimes weepy music. Others, you just want to rock the fuck out, and who better than AC/DC?

82. We Are Scientists - Ram It Home
And from genuine cock rock double entendre bands, to those taking the piss with a lack of subtlety. California's We Are Scientists performing their cock rock pisstake at The Old Blue Last.

81. Hellsongs - Paranoid
This week's section is topped and tailed with a pair of covers. The first one was a rocked up version of a mellow song, so it's only fitting that the closer is a mellow version of Black Sabbath's most famous hit/wrist-killer on Guitar Hero.

Songs of the Decade: 100 - 91

2009-10-07T21:26:00.000+01:00

A few weeks ago in a copy of the Times that I found on a train I noticed that they did their own run down of the best 100 songs from this decade (1st January 2000 to 31st December 2009). Lacking in inspiration I nicked the idea and have been compiling my own top 100 as a counterpoint. Aside from the obvious chronological restraints I also set myself another rule: each named artist can only appear once. As per normal I bent this rule, as you'll see with 64 & 16, 42 & 17, and 19 & 1.

100. Shakira - Hips Don't Lie
I will admit, the first ten are somewhat shaky, as I had the top 90 easily, and then scrabbled around looking for filler. But it's still a fun song, even if it does remind me of the pre-Google days of youtube, when it had banner ads on the site that would start playing songs when loaded. This is one of the songs played.

As embedding's been disabled, you'll have to click through to watch the video on YouTube itself, here.

99. Pixie Lott - Mama Do (Uh Oh Uh Oh)
It's not all going to be industrial German metal and female fronted indie bands. Occasionally I go for female fronted pop acts too.

Another one that I can't embed. Spoilsports.

98. Harry - Imagination
By now you might be wondering "is this list just going to be blondes cavorting around in their underwear?" to which my answer would be "no, there'll be some brunettes and redheads too". In all seriousness, I can link my introduction to Auf der Maur, The Subways and Blood Red Shoes (and all the weird and wonderful people thereafter) directly back to this artist. If the list was calculated on importance of songs rather than song quality, this would probably be number one. But it isn't, so it's not.

97. Robin Sparkles - Lets Go To The Mall
We've had latin American pop. We've had Kentish pop. Now, we have Canadian pop! Not the only one-hit wonder on this list, but this song from early in the decade is just fun in every way. Trivia - since leaving the music business, Robin's since become a news anchorwoman on a New York TV station.

96. Papa Roach - Last Resort
Ah, nu-metal. While this fad gave us some truely atrocious songs, there was a time when you couldn't put Kerrang TV on without hearing this song. Yes, this list is driven by nostalgia too.

More anti-embedding from UMG, spoilsports.

95. Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
More unashamed pop. It's designed to seduce new readers in with familiar acts, before blindsiding them with obscure acts like Metallica, Paramore, Girls Aloud...

Again, no embedding. No fun.

94. Girls Aloud - Sound Of The Underground
After overcoming my initial disappointment that it wasn't 3 minutes of tube trains, "mind the gap" and "there is a part closure on all London Underground lines", it's a rather rocky song. Especially for a group described as "the new Hear'say".

93. Beyonce feat. Jay Z - Crazy In Love
Pop with an r'n'b flavour. One of those summer songs that everyone seems to like, regardless of stereotype.

More lack of embedding. Boo.

92. Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict A Riot
"Wow, what a fun and inventive new band!" we all thought when we first heard it. It got a bit tiresome being rereleased a dozen more times under different song names though.

Yet more lack of embedding. It'll get better when the bands get smaller.

91. Arcade Fire - Rebellion (Lies)
Unlike others, I've never bought into the hype around this band. However, I do love my big, epic songs, and so this appears on the list. Despite not having on my computer until last month.

Bandwidth Abusing

2009-06-18T23:24:00.002+01:00

Next Autumn looks like I'll be downloading shows every morning from the States.

Monday morning: The Simpsons, Mad Men
Tuesday morning: How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Castle, Chuck
Wednesday morning: Leverage
Thursday morning: Glee
Friday morning: 30 Rock
Saturday morning: Dollhouse

Gigs of 2009 pt 1

2009-06-14T20:04:00.004+01:00

As I've not done massive big long updates for any of my gigs this year, I thought I'd squeeze them all in to one.

February 4th - Amanda Palmer (Electric Ballroom, London)
I didn't really have much time to get excited about this gig as most of it was spent arranging to meet up with Hannah. Once that was done I realised that there was still a main performer to see, and it was much better than I anticipated. It wasn't like your usual straightforward gig in that there was a LOT of audience interaction - an auction mid set, actors in the crowd, some fucking strange people beforehand with masks on giving out playing cards.

And then we got the rant about how none of the UK radio stations would play the jaunty upbeat song making light of abortion/date rape as it might offend someone, so she played a slow tempo version. And couldn't keep a straight face.

Great fun, especially with the Dresden Dolls songs played unexpectedly. 8.5/10

February 13th - Rosie & The Goldbug (Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes, London)
I had been looking forward to this gig for two months ever since I got the album. It took place in a bowling alley, which is still a very strange place to see a gig - with bowling and karaoke taking place behind and to the side of the stage. The pre-gig DJ (VV from the Kills) played some excellent tunes - Bikini Kill's Rebel Yell and White Stripes - Hand Springs being the highlights. Unfortunately, due to the band not coming on stage until 10:15 and having to get the coach home we missed some of the set, but what we did see was absolutely excellent and I would see them again in a heartbeat.

Superb live band, on top of their game. 9.3/10

February 23rd - Spinnerette (Islington Academy, London)
After two great gigs, Spinnerette had a lot to live up to. Given that I'd seen the Distillers in their prime comparisons would be inevitable, no matter how hard I tried not to make them. Support band Future of the Left weren't as bad as I remembered them to be, and Steve and Laura from Blood Red Shoes came up to us and had a chat between the two. Once I'd got it into my head that these weren't the Distillers I had a great time, Brody's still as cool as fuck even after six years away from performing live, and the new stuff sounds good. Even though one song had a note for note identical intro to Manic Street Preachers - Judge Y'rself which had me singing along to the wrong song.

Material sounds good, but they'd only played 3 live gigs and it showed. 7.5/10

March 10th - Blood Red Shoes (Chinnerys, Southend)
Firstly, I never want to visit Southend again as long as I live. It makes Margate look beautiful. If Garbage announced a one off final gig there supported by the original Pipettes and Rilo Kiley, I'd still have reservations. That said, the gig itself was fun. Was good to see people again, the alcohol was reasonably priced (which may have contributed to my enjoyment), the new songs sounded good and I got a t-shirt. The stage invasion was actually rather funny - Southend crowds aren't as enthusiastic as London ones.

They can always be relied upon for a good gig, but as nothing stuck out in my mind, 8.0/10

April 5th - Rose Elinor Dougall (The Old Queens Head, London)
This was a spur of the moment gig - literally the night before I was talking to Dana about her and idly wondered when Rose was playing in London next. As it was the following day and I had the Monday afterwards off I took myself off to London to see her. After sitting in the beer garden near to her reading my book while eating my dinner (and being the only person outside not smoking) I took myself upstairs to the venue, and nabbed myself an amazingly comfortably leather armchair with a great view of the stage. It was the most comfortable I've ever been at a gig and being in a relaxed seating position worked well with her music. Every song was great, especially the live version of May Holiday.

Probably what kick started my crush on her. 9.8/10

April 25th - Yeah Yeah Yeahs (Shepherd's Bush Empire, London)
I was not excited about this gig at all beforehand. The Gills had ground out a 0-0 draw that ended our automatic promotion hopes, and I was not impressed with the material from the third album. In the end I was only going up for Laura and Rob but I'd forgotten one crucial thing - the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are always good live. Every single thing about the set crackled, especially hearing Pin and Art Star. Really glad I went.

Another fantastic live set. 8/10

May 18th - Johnny Foreigner (Flowerpot, London)
Random free gig that I entered for the hell of it. Wanted to see them again as I hadn't seen them since September and it was the longest I'd gone without seeing them since I first heard of them. The new stuff was great, Kelly looked hot as a redhead (but then again I would say that, wouldn't I?) and I'm really looking forward to the album. The JoFo fangirls over on Kelly's side actually freaked the band out too.

By the numbers - good, but nothing special. 7.5/10

May 21st - Rosie & The Goldbug (Water Rats, London)
After Johnny Foreigner I was too shattered to go to Metric the following night, and so wasn't too up for this gig either. Another late stage time for the band but I timed my travel well enough so that I arrived down the centre just as the band got on stage, saw a brief 8 song set, then buggered off home again. Still, Rosie was pleased to have someone to sing along with (having someone that pretty singing "you and me, lets fuck forever" to me was a definite highlight) - I just wish they'd played for longer.

Still want to see them again, another gig left unfulfilled. 8.0/10

June 8th - Rose Elinor Dougall (Luminaire, Kilburn)
I was in a strange mood before this gig. A can of super strength Strongbow on top of a can of Relentless left me shaken, and the proggy sounds of the support band combined with the heat in the venue sent me back outside for fresh air and to calm down, where Rose was having a fag. I ended up having a conversation with her which at times veered dangerously close to Jeff Murdock territory. Back in the gig and another excellent set, which was closed by a very guitar led Falling Over - not the sort of song you'd expect given the previous half an hour of a more psychedelic Rilo Kiley style music. That was followed by her first ever solo encore.

Given that as soon as I got home I was straight on the myspace looking for her next date in London, 9/10

June 9th - Rose Elinor Dougall (Puregroove records, London)
Well, it just happened to be the day after. Half day of holiday booked and I was up off to London to see her again. I popped in to Forbidden Planet on the off chance they had a copy of the Pipettes based comic book that I bought a few months previously, and luckily they did. I picked up a copy, still unsure as to how well it would go down, and walked from Covent Garden to Barbican to find a cafe masquerading as a record shop. There were only about a dozen people there to see her, it having been announced very late on, but she remembered me from the previous night and thanked me for coming two nights in a row (fnarr) and then found out I was from Canterbury, so was even more impressed with my attendance. I don't know if it was put upon or real but it was nice that she said it anyway.

The gig was way more stripped down than the previous night, but just as fun. 9/10

Phone Box Blues

2009-06-11T20:15:00.002+01:00

As I haven't updated about work fun lately:

As part of the order process we're supposed to ask customers if they want their telephone number in the phone book. Yesterday I was setting up a 'phone line for an old dear who was doddering about in the background while I was chatting to her daughter.

"So, do you want your mum's number in the phone book?"
"MUM! Do you want your number in the phone book?"
"Why would I want my number in the phone box? I'll get all sorts of pervy calls from dirty old men thinking I'm a prostitute! I don't mind the pervy calls but I don't want them thinking I'm a whore!"

I was so glad the daughter couldn't see me struggling to keep a straight face.

Then, today, I was sat reading Veronica Mars quotes I'd emailed to myself to stop myself getting bored when I hear from the chap next to me:

"No, don't worry, I'll do it as fast as I can."
"..."
"No, you won't run out of air, don't worry."
"..."
"Don't worry, our phone boxes are not airtight. You'll be fine."
"..."
"You're not in a vacuum! Our phone boxes aren't air tight, you won't run out of oxygen."
"..."
"JUST OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR AND LET SOME NEW AIR IN SO YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT SUFFOCATING THEN!"

My Day at Wembley by James Tong (aged 24 and 3/4)

2009-05-23T21:25:00.002+01:00

Well, that was fun.

The day started ridiculously early at 8:03am, when I woke up to Dave Lee Roth's "Just Like Paradise" on the radio. Unsure as to whether this was portentious or grimly ironic, I got myself ready, and we made our way to the station. We stopped off at Macknade service station for a bar of Galaxy Cookie Crunch - a superstition from earlier in the season, I'd gotten one before the games against Bury, Dagenham & Redbridge and Rochdale, and we hadn't lost those games (winning two and drawing one) and I'm a superstitious bastard.

We got to the station in time for the train half an hour before the one we intended to get, and as Phil had made that one from Canterbury as well we got in early, bagging a seat with a table. At Faversham the train was pretty full - by Sittingbourne, an hour away from London, every seat was taken and there were even people sitting in the aisles. At Rainham there were people three deep at the platform edge - not a hope in hell of getting everyone in. It got worse further up the line. A group of 13/14 year old lads got on with us at Faversham and were being somewhat boisterous, until surrounded by Gills fans at which point they were rather quiet.

We got into Victoria and the train spewed out wave after wave of blue, yellow and white clad Gills fans. As we made our way round to the cashpoints we could hear the chants from the Wetherspoons echoing round the concourse - even in the toilets deep underground I could tell which chant it was. We got on an extremely rammed Victoria line train and then changed to go to Baker Street, where we went in search of food and alcohol. We took a picture outside ~~Brian Moore's Head~~ the London Planetarium (leave me be) and found a KFC to scoff. Sitting in the KFC 100+ yards from the pub on the corner opposite Baker Street station we could hear Gills chants down the street! Seeing people walking past with alcohol I remembered a Tesco down the road and we headed there just after midday so I could get myself a cider to drink on the tube. Unfortunately, due to the actions of some drunk Cambridge fans the previous weekend, Baker Street was completely dry between the hours of 12 and 3. Arse.

We got down to the platform just as an Uxbridge train pulled in and we jumped on, with around 20 other Gills fans standing in our carriage which became so hot sweat was dripping down the inside of the doors. At Wembley Park we found Coca-Cola fan people who were giving out wristbands - one poor sod made the mistake of pronouncing our club's name as Gillingham with a hard G and got booed by half a dozen Gills fans in a light hearted way. We walked up Wembley Way surrounded by fans in blue and white, and blue and yellow. The new Wembley looks a lot nicer than the old dump, and took pictures like the tourists we are - including the Gills flags in front of the Bobby Moore statue. Walking round the concourse we saw a mounted policeman on a white horse - by this time I was getting rather hyper and got excited about a white horse at Wembley.

When we got into the stadium itself I was rather taken by the resemblence to Tropicana Field in Tampa, where the Rays play their home baseball games, but when we walked through the barrier into the stand I was very impressed. We sat chilling and soaking up the atmosphere, before the under 11s cup final took place in the centre of the pitch. The 6000 odd fans in the stadium took it to heart and were cheering on both sides, with the blue team scoring in the last minute from a left sided corner. Hmm. After that we were impressed that Doug Hudson, the normal announcer at Priestfield, read out our lineup and then lead the 38,000+ Gills fans in a singalong of The Last Waltz. I wasted £3.80 on a pint of Carlsberg (Carlsberg evidently don't do beer, either) before watching the team warm up and alternating between excited and nervous.

The teams came out to an amazing atmosphere. The Gills had the better of the first half against a clearly nervous Shrewsbury, with a corner swept in by Nutter and pushed over the bar by their keeper, and a Josh Wright shot pushed round the post. The first half swept past very quickly, and the teams went in at half time with the Shrews lucky to be level. The half time break took its time to pass, and we discussed the fact that the Gills would be attacking the goal in front of us in the second half. We started the second half as we finished the first, pressuring the Shrewsbury defence but being hindered by the fact that their keeper is a bit good. Then, something changed. Suddenly the Gills became unable to string more than two passes together and Shrewsbury started pressing. The second half dragged on and on, with both teams tiring and gradually slowing down. Dennis Oli, who had turned their left back in and out so much the guy had twisted blood, was visibly knackered towards the end.

Then, suddenly, Barcham broke down the left, speeding past the defender and slicing his cross behind the goal, as the defender slid in. The ref gave a corner, which we weren't too displeased about, as 89:50 showed on the clock. As the ball was returned I noticed that we'd left three defenders and the goalkeeper back in case of a breakaway. Nutter swung the ball in, it was flicked on by Weston and Jackson headed goalwards towards the defender on the line. The defender headed it onto the post and behind him into the roof of the net - the keeper scrambled it away but the linesman had spotted the goal (as did we) and the south stand with the Gills in went absolutely mental. 49 games over the season, and it had come down to the last second of the last minute of the last game. The two minutes of injury time took approximately an hour to tick down, and as their keeper hoofed it forward, the referee blew his whistle and we were back up to League 1, a year after we left it!

After the trophy was lifted we left sharpish, and caught the tube back to Victoria in time to get the 18:03 train home. After running for food and for the train I was absolutely knackered, and stood on the train swaying and seeing blue sheep scampering in the fields. The food perked me up and kept me going until Faversham where, 10 hours after we arrived there, we returned tired and happy.

Buffy people on Twitter

2009-05-04T08:32:00.013+01:00

I just realised that I'm now following more Buffy related people on Twitter than actual real life people I know.

Whedonverse people
@adambusch - Adam Busch (Warren in Buffy)
@alydenisof - Alyson Hannigan (Willow, in Buffy and Angel)
@amber_benson - Amber Benson (Tara in Buffy, also co-writer of spin off comic books)
@AnthonySHead - Anthony Stewart Head (Giles in Buffy)
@BrianLynch - Brian Lynch (Angel comic book writer)
@CapricaSeven - Jane Espenson (Angel, Buffy, Dollhouse writer)
@Chris_Gorham - Christopher Gorham (James in the Buffy episode "I Only Have Eyes For You")
@ClareBerry - Clare Kramer (Glory/Oh most naughty sweaty feelings causing one on Buffy)
@Dichenlachman - Dichen Lachman (Sierra on Dollhouse)
@drhorrible - Dr Horrible official tweet (mostly Jed/Maurissa Whedon)
@ElizaPatricia - Eliza Dushku (Buffy/Faith on Buffy, Faith on Angel, Echo/Caroline on Dollhouse)
@EmmaCaulfield - Emma Caulfield (Anya Christina Emmanuella Made-up-maiden-name Jenkins in Buffy)
@feliciaday - Felicia Day (Vi in Buffy, Penny in Dr Horrible, and as yet untitled character in Dollhouse)
@jamesleary73 - James C. Leary (Clem in Buffy)
@JewelStaite - Jewel Staite (Kaylee on Firefly)
@juliebenz - Julie Benz (Darla on Buffy and Angel)
@julietlandau - Juliet Landau (Drusilla in Buffy and Angel)
@kdaubert1 - K.D. Aubert (Nikki Wood in Buffy season 7)
@Mark_Sheppard - Mark Sheppard (Badger on Firefly, Tanaka on Dollhouse)
@MeredthSalenger - Meredith Salenger (Grace Newman in Buffy - I Only Have Eyes For You)
@MoTancharoen - Maurissa Tancharoen (Groupie #1 in Dr Horrible, writer on Dollhouse and Mrs Jed Whedon)
@miraclelaurie - Miracle Laurie (Mellie in Dollhouse)
@NathanFillion - Nathan Fillion (Caleb in Buffy, Mal in Firefly/Serenity, Captain Hammer in Dr Horrible)
@SarahPaulson - Sarah Paulson (Researcher on Miranda in Serenity)
@Tomlenk - Tom Lenk (Andrew in Buffy)
@Whedonesque - Whedonesque (an unofficial blog, listing news items related to practically anyone who has been in or worked on Buffy (film and TV series), Angel, Firefly, Serenity, Dr Horrible, Dollhouse, spin-off comics, books...you get the idea)

10 x 10

2009-04-29T20:38:00.002+01:00

Top 5 saddest songs I own (in no particular order):

Johnny Cash - Hurt

The cover that could make a Terminator cry.

easyworld - Tonight

Plaintive and heartbreakingly hopeful at the same time.

Dresden Dolls - Sing

Always chokes me up. I don't know why.

Blood Red Shoes - Say Something, Say Anything

A song about losing someone, and wishing you'd done more.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps (acoustic)

You'll struggle to find a simpler, more heartbreaking lyric than "wait, they don't love you like I love you". Although I'm sure someone will try, purely to contradict me.

And, to even it out, the top 5 happiest songs I own.

Feeder - Just A Day

Pretty much impossible to listen to and not want to jump around.

Manic Street Preachers - Faster

Well, it's happy if you don't listen too closely to the lyrics.

Johnny Foreigner - Salt, Pepper and Spinderella

Johnny Foreigner- Salt, peppa and spinderella from Best Before Records on Vimeo.

Starts off slow, but a great feeling of release when it kicks in.

Travis - Turn

Not what you'd expect from a happy song list. But this was always played, without fail, before every Gillingham home game in the season 1999-2000, which was also the last year the Gills went up. It brings back great memories of sitting in the sun on the shiny new Rainham End, watching the Gills charge forth decimating teams.

Los Campesinos - Sweet Dreams, Sweet Cheeks

The sort of song that should be played over the end credits of a John Hughes movie, where everybody's happy, and having a party.

What I want from Dollhouse

2009-03-29T15:34:00.002+01:00

Dollhouse is the new show from Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy, Angel, Firefly, and all other things awesome. Dollhouse has taken a few weeks to click with me but now it has there's all manner of squeeing over it - not just from me but Katy and Sarah too. Despite my hopes and prayers the game changing episode six didn't reveal that the Dollhouse was all a crazy dream in River Tam's head (and thus sneaking Firefly back on the air) so I thought I'd jot down a few light-hearted scenarios that I'd like to see from the remaining six episodes; probably not gonna happen (although if they do, I'll point out that I called them way back here) but fun anyway. If you're a Whedon geek.

(Probable spoilers if you've not seen up to 1x07 'Echoes' or you're majorly spoiler-phobic)

Adelle's bosses (higher up, even, than the Rossum Corporation) turn out to be Wolfram and Hart.

That, or Bad Horse and the ELoE.

Felicia Day's appearance is as Foxtrot, whose role as an active ("Penny") is just to tip Billy over the edge, much like the First did with Angel in Amends

One of Echo's future assignments is either: a cheerleader winning a cheer competition; a morgue attendant with an extreme case of deja vu; a detective who eventually convicts Nate Ford from Leverage.

Alpha to wear Hawaiian shirts. And have toy dinosaurs.

Victor and Sierra to get together without one of them dying.

Mellie/November to be seen enjoying strawberries.

Michael Muhney to play Ballard's brother.

Tony Head to appear as Adelle's husband.

Alpha and Echo turn out to be brother and sister.

As an aside, given that Rick Castle's daughter is a redhead, who else wants her mum to be played by Christina Hendricks?

One Year Ago

2009-03-29T15:18:00.002+01:00

One year ago today I set up the Google Dashboard function on here to track the amount of views I get, where from, and which sites referred them here. I don't get nearly enough hits to do this once a week, but I thought I'd take a look back over the year.

Most Viewed Individual Pages
1. Red Nose Day writeup - 392 views (possibly due to the story on the work intranet linking to this entry and not the same one in my internal blog)
2. What If Joss Whedon wrote High School Musical? - 264 views (thanks to a link on a Firefly livejournal community)
3. Subways album writeup - 139 views (the first one on the web, I believe)
4. Red Nose Day pimping - 83 views (due to excessive promotion on Facebook)
5. Band t-shirt clearout - 49 views (same reason)

Top referring sites
1. funkymp.blogspot.com 360
2. today.intra.bt.com 257
3. facebook.com 225
4. community.livejournal.com 166
5. lorzy48.blogspot.com 106

Visitors by country
1. United Kingdom 2,079
2. United States 229
3. Canada 40
4. Germany 33
5. France 23

I'm well aware I'm probably the only person who finds this interesting.

Red Nose Day Tube Challenge 2009

2009-03-14T16:43:00.003Z

So, as I've been plugging for the last month, yesterday was Red Nose Day - the day we'd picked to attempt to visit all 270 stations on the London Underground. Read on to see how we fared...

The day started with a gentle half mile walk from the Travelodge round to Hatton Cross station. It wasn't cold, very mild, but there was nowhere around to get a bacon sandwich. Sadly, this was to carry on throughout the day. After meeting up and mucking about confusing early morning commuters, we got the train to Heathrow Terminal 4, and started our stopwatches when the doors closed there. The train left 6 minutes later than scheduled which was to our advantage, as we had a long wait at the next change and this cut the time down significantly. When we came into daylight at Hounslow West I shifted in my seat to see the sun rise and twisted my back awkwardly - the twinge that had me walking gingerly for a week in February returned, and I started to worry that my day was over before it had begun.

On the train to Barons Court Anthony was distributing Red Noses and we had a bit of fun throwing them to/at each other. At Barons Court we changed to a District train to West Kensington, and the first run of the day. I was dreading this, as if my gym sessions weren't enough this would kill me, and it wasn't even half 7! This was much easier than I thought due to taking a run through back streets which broke up the monotony of a long street, and I jogged in to Kensington Olympia feeling much better than I expected. A quick change and we were off to Wimbledon to somehow make it to Morden in time for a Mill Hill East train.

(Sidebar: If these station names are like Vienna - they mean nothing to you - there's a map here to refer to)

At Wimbledon the train we'd planned to get to South Merton wasn't in, so we took a tram instead. This was quite fun, despite people studiously ignoring my attempts to make eye contact and let me explain what we were doing. We jumped off at Merton Park and sprinted up to the road to hopefully get a bus and it was at that point that we saw the bus stop nearest was out of order. Bugger. To compound our misery we spotted a Morden bus coming, too. Completely ignoring the Green Cross Code we ran across a very busy A road to try and flag it down on the off-chance that it would stop for a dozen superheroes. Luckily, it did! Garion, dressed as Superman, wasn't expecting this much running on an attempt and collapsed on the floor of the bus for a rest. The driver dropped us off right outside the station then stopped traffic so we could cross the road in front of him, and such won the Best Bus Driver of the day award.

This bit of good fortune meant we could get the train before the Mill Hill East train that we intended to get, and gave us a few minutes at Finchley Central for a breather/toilet break. I nipped over to the southbound platform to take a picture of Harry Beck's original Tube map and gave a spare Red Nose to a gateline guard who kept looking over at us and giggling. At Mill Hill East we were accosted by a strange ginger haired fella - who was possibly on a comedown and freaked out by us - who wanted lots of pictures. A trip up to High Barnet and a few buses followed by a run saw us reach Cockfosters in time, and a bit of luck with the next few connections meant we knocked out Covent Garden earlier than planned, before heading off to Essex.

Had a bit of time at Hainault so I checked to see if it had improved since the end of August (it hadn't) and then to Woodford, where I replenished my drinks supply, got a ham and cheese roll that was disappointingly missing the cheese, and had a quick wee. Not all at the same time, I should point out. A nice trip back into London and out the other side, and then a run to Ickenham. This was slightly downhill but went past eight pubs! As this was about two in the afternoon there were lots of people about and we got a fair number of toots from car/van/motorbike horns. At the next station, Hillingdon, we reached the halfway point in terms of stations visited, but a few minutes delay here meant I couldn't chance a lovely bacon and brie sandwich from the Cafe at Uxbridge. Back at Rayners Lane I was annoyed that the platform kiosk that was open ten minutes before had shut for afternoon tea - fortunately there was a shop just outside the entrance where I finally got some wine gums.

Down the Piccadilly line to North Ealing and we had a bit of interest from the British Transport Police. Apparently the radios we were using happened to be on the same frequency as their radios - by all accounts, Control were wetting themselves listening to discussions of the superheroes running between stations! As we left at North Ealing I had the first piece of misfortune of the day. Coming off the train to the stairs I clipped my foot on the lip of the platform and went tumbling - the momentum of my backpack carried forward and I made a half hearted attempt at a forward roll to try and cover up my clumsiness. By the time I'd left the station one of our number had already reached West Acton and radioed back that there was no train for nine minutes and to take our time. I did, and nipped into the off licence to get a can of Magners for the end of the day.

A quick change at Ealing Broadway (which still smells of curry) and down to Turnham Green for a doubleback to Richmond. I actually cannot remember a single thing about this bit up until Hammersmith - it's possible I hit my head on the platform at North Ealing too - and at Hammersmith we completely screwed up the door positions, so what was meant to be a leisurely jog turned into a full on pelt through a shopping centre to the Hammersmith and City line station (across 5 lanes of traffic) and we got a tannoy announcement to a certain extent - "can the superheroes stop holding open the doors or this train will be taken out of service!".

By this time I was feeling the effects of a long day, and as we hit rush hour I was starting to look forward to a McDonalds for a sugar boost. It didn't help that Sam and Matt dropped out at South Kensington as they were the only two I really talked to. After some rapid changes I ended up in the carriage behind everyone else, tuning in to three teenage girls who didn't realise that they weren't black - despite attempts to dress/talk/act like stereotypical black girls. Given my tiredness it took a few minutes to realise that they were actually discussing the various trains from the Thomas the Tank Engine stories and what number/colour each engine was! At Stockwell we pulled up into the Northern line platform to see a Victoria line train waiting across the platform with its doors open. Sprinting across we heard the beeps to signify the doors were about to close - Iron Man threw himself into the rapidly diminishing gap and managed to force the doors back open! By the time we'd got back to Sloane Square my back was in agony and I was having to hyperventilate every few minutes to stop it locking up.

However, after a change at Tower Hill for an Upminster train I had taken enough Ibuprofen to paralyse a small horse and was able to continue. The District train to Upminster dragged and I took the opportunity to have a bit of a doze. Past East Ham the train emptied and I found out I'd raised £288 so far - sent out a begging Tweet for the final £12 to take me over double my original target, and my Tennessee friend Amanda duly coughed up. This, coupled with the ice cold bottle of Coke at Upminster, gave me the impetus to continue at least until the Burger King at Harrow. Coming back down to London on a very lovely C2C train we hared out of Fenchurch Street station, up Jewry Street (passing more pubs - I swear the easiest way to find a pub in London is to walk between two geographically close Underground stations) and across to Aldgate. Running across Aldgate High Street I crucially forgot the Green Cross Code and nearly got mown down by a double decker. Apparently the high pitched squeal I heard wasn't the bus's brakes and was in fact me.

Sitting at Aldgate we waited for five minutes for the train to depart - we had a green signal, but no driver. I was all for taking over and joyriding it to Baker Street (it can't be that difficult to drive, surely?) but quite sensibly I was shouted down. Passing through the stations on the northern bit of the Circle line we saw crowds five deep at the platform - not to see me, sadly, but because there hadn't been a train through in a good 15 minutes before. At Baker Street we ran down and found a Jubilee line train waiting for us in the platform so hoped on and nipped out to Zone 5, on the world's slowest Jubilee line train. At Wembley Park I started noting things down for the Whitsun Bank Holiday weekend in May, when I'll be back to cheer on Gillingham in the playoff final. I realised two things on this leg - it was suddenly blinking cold, and that next time I do an all stations attempt, I'll bring a pen so I can attempt the sudokus in the freebie papers strewn across the carriage. A double back at Stanmore to Canons Park and then a bus to Edgware to go back into town.

As we'd knocked out Leicester Square and Covent Garden earlier on in the day, we could take a shorter route across Zone 1 for this bit. Unfortunately this meant a change at Tottenham Court Road, which has never been my favourite station (the Central line platforms, Northern line platforms and surface entrance are all about three miles away from each other) and today didn't help as it was roastingly hot. A full pelt run through the station was pointless as we had a five minute wait for a train; waiting for others to arrive I noticed my vision greying out and everything at a 30 degree angle to where it should be. I propped myself against a wall to avoid collapsing and hindering the attempt, as after the next change at Oxford Circus I'd be sat down for 40 minutes so I could recover. I nodded off several times on the way out to Queens Park, which was a source of amusement for everyone else! At Queens Park our train terminated so we hopped across to get on the Overground train (apart from the DLR and the River boats, we managed to use every single London Transport method on the day) up to Harrow and Wealdstone. We had a long old wait here and saw two Virgin Pendolinos go screaming past - my joking suggestion to Garion that he race them was met with a stare best described as "withering".

Back at Kenton we shot off the train, up the stairs and through the sleep village to Northwick Park station, annoyed that we wouldn't make it back to Preston Road in time to catch the Watford train. However a bit of luck meant that the Watford train was running four minutes late and we easily caught it at Preston Road. Nipping through Harrow on the Hill I pressed my face against the glass peering intently for the support team, who left us at Baker Street (the second time) to get a job lot of Bacon double cheeseburger meals from Burger King in Harrow. Unfortunately they didn't get back to us in time and so were going to meet us at Moor Park after we'd been up to Watford.

Given that the Met line is so vast and sprawling, with four branches up at this end, the Amersham trains run fast from Chesham to Moor Park, whereas the Watford trains visit the four stations in between. As we left Northwood Hills a fast train rattled past - this was carrying our support team (and more crucially, my dinner) and so they met us at Moor Park. My food didn't make it to Croxley. This was exactly what I needed and kept me going until the end. Back at Moor Park we had a 19 minute wait for an Amersham train (well, one that stopped here anyway - several Chiltern Railways trains whooshed past onomatopoeically) as we'd changed our plans and would now finish at Chesham (then revisit Amersham for the cars). At this point I was running on autopilot and don't remember much about the stations, except that Amersham and Chesham seem to be populated exclusively by 17 year old temptresses. Either that or I imagined them - I'm still not entirely sure which is more likely! Back at Chalfont we crossed the platform to the Chesham shuttle and Garion, the hero that he is, had a quick chat with the driver. Coming back to us he confessed he'd managed to convince the driver to give it some welly - hearing this, everyone who was standing up made a dash for the safety of the seats! I cracked open my can of Magners for the final countdown (and I wish I'd put that song on my phone to play for the final bit) and nearly fell over again as the train accelerated further into Buckinghamshire. Shortly after midnight, a mere 17 hours, 36 minutes and 57 seconds after the doors closed at Heathrow Terminal 4, we tumbled out onto the platform at our 270th station, stopping our watches and waking up most of Chesham with our raucous yells of delight.

We dragged our weary bodies back to Amersham via Chalfont, and I got a lift back to the travelodge I had left 20 hours before. I don't remember anything at all from leaving Amersham until 9:51 on Saturday morning, when a text from Mel woke me up and I found I was face down on the bed, still wearing everything from the day before - even my backpack! As a mildly amusing coda, once I'd replied to Mel and got the kettle on, I stripped off my now rather pungent clothes, opened the window and inadvertently exposed myself to anyone driving down the A4 at that particular moment.

Blood Red Shoes on Eastenders?

2009-03-03T17:49:00.002Z

Yup, that was a bit odd. Hearing two bands that have been rather important to the way my life's played out over the last five years (Blood Red Shoes and The Subways) name-checked on a major prime-time show was unexpected, a lot like hearing The Duke Spirit played in Dollhouse.

Clip below for your pleasure.

Alphabet Soup

2009-02-26T08:30:00.005Z

Some of you who have added me on Facebook may have noticed something amiss about my profile pictures of the last month. Specifically, that they've all been covers of popular albums. The idea was suggested by a user on the Tube Challenge forums, Charlie Southwell to make February an alphabet month - one picture each day representing a letter of the alphabet. On January 31st I was frantically hunting round my room to find something for A for the following day when my eyes alighted on my poster for the Pink Floyd album "Animals" and an idea was set. Why not use albums? Just to make it trickier, they would have to be albums that I own...

I've composed a playlist of one song from each album, in alphabetical order.

Pink Floyd - Pigs (Animals)
AC/DC - Hells Bells (Back In Black)
Duke Spirit - Love Is An Unforgivable Name (Cuts Across The Land)
Pink Floyd - Money (Dark Side Of The Moon)
Rilo Kiley - A Better Son/Daughter (Execution Of All Things*)
Neil Young - Don't Cry (Freedom)
Garbage - Not My Idea (G)
Eagles - Last Resort (Hotel California)
Led Zeppelin - All My Love (In Through The Out Door)
Aerosmith - Jaded (Just Push Play)
Metallica - Seek And Destroy (Kill 'Em All)
Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi (Let Go)
Rammstein - Feuer Frei! (Mutter)
Queen - Sheer Heart Attack (News Of The World)
Metric - Dead Disco (Old World Underground)
Aerosmith - Rag Doll (Permanent Vacation)
Queens Of The Stone Age - Dear John (Queens Of The Stone Age)
Rosie And The Goldbug - War Of The Roses (Rosie And The Goldbug)
Rammstein - Du Hast (Sehnsucht)
Spinal Tap - Big Bottom (This Is Spinal Tap)
Guns N Roses - Coma (Use Your Illusion I)
Garbage - Push It (Version 2.0)
The Pipettes - Pull Shapes (We Are The Pipettes)
Coldplay - Fix You (X & Y**)
The Subways - Oh Yeah (Young For Eternity)
ZZ Top - Viva Las Vegas (ZZ Top's Greatest Hits***)

*I know it's "The Execution Of All Things", but Windows Media player lists it under E in the albums section.
**Have you got a better album beginning with X?
***Or Z, for that matter?

"Can we film the operation...

2009-02-19T20:39:00.000Z

Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a
Running bet"
Don Henley - Dirty Laundry

Made a fool of yourself on TV? Portrayed yourself as someone thicker than two short planks nailed together with extra thick nails? Taken part in racial bullying on a prime time show? We'll lambaste you in our editorials, harangue you on the front pages and poke fun at you in our letters column.

What's that? Suddenly announced you're dying of cancer (after ignoring abnormal cells on a smear test 18 months ago)? Come this way, we'll pepper the public with how brave you are, pay you mountains of money for "your story", and revere you as though you were the daughter of god himself. We'll make the general public sympathise with your plight, forgetting that three months ago we were organising a flaming mob outside your house.

Whatever your views on Jade Goody, the about face and hypocrisy of the media piss me right off.

Few things from life at the moment

2009-02-10T18:39:00.003Z

Firstly, one of the best put-downs ever for charity muggers in the high street:

"'scuse me, do you want to give money to Cancer Research?"
"Sorry, I can't, mate. I'm a Leo."

Yesterday at work we had a power outage due to some local prats stealing copper wire from the nearest sub-station (I'm still genuinely unsure whether to laugh at their stupidity or praise their bravado). Not only was the power out at work but the big four way road junction lost all power to the traffic lights as well. Four hours without traffic signals and not one blasted accident was disappointing, but my colleagues made up for it.

"I can't believe all the power's gone out!" said one, who wasn't the sharpest bulb in the toybox. "Will the buses still be running?"

A collective pause amongst our team. Was she really stupid enough to say that?

"That's a good point Alayna, I hope the power cut doesn't cause the sun to go out too!"
"And that postman down there! Will he still be able to deliver letters with the power out?!?"

She's not yet lived it down. But then again, stupidity yesterday wasn't limited to our end of the telephone:

"I'd like to complain about this Vision service!"
"Ok then, I'll get you through to the right people in a mo, what don't you like about it?"
"It's made my TV go all funny!"
"Eh? How?"
"Well, yesterday me and my wife sat down to watch a film that some friends had recommended to us, and as soon as we watched it all the colour drained from our tele, except for the odd bit!"
"Which film was this?"
"Schindler's List!"
My hand moved to my mute button so far you'd think it had food on it.
"Sir, had you not seen that film before?"
"No, why?"
"Sir, the film is supposed to be in black and white, with the odd splash of colour - from memory the scene with the girl in the red dress, and also the flame on a candle. It's not a problem with the service, it's the cinematography of the film."
"..."
"Sir?"
"I bet I'm the stupidest person you've spoken to today, aren't I? Please don't make any notes about this on my account!"
"Of course not sir, and honestly, you're not nearly stupid enough to make it into today's blog." (I lied.)

And the lovely journalists at the Sheffield Star are up in arms about the fact that a Google search for Francesca Anobile (the straight-A student who didn't realise sled + fence = death) brings up Sickipedia as the fourth highest link. Their forums are up in arms (those of them that have arms anyway) about the fact that people are making light of such a tragedy. I wonder how many of those readers have ever laughed at or passed on a black humour joke themselves?

On a similar subject, I put it here in writing that if I do die in a public way and people make funny jokes about me, please for god's sake post them on here/my Twitter/my Facebook page. Find the fun!

Stupid things we do for charity

2009-01-31T20:18:00.007Z

Myself (along with a number of far more ~~experienced~~ insane people) have decided that, for Comic Relief we are going to attempt to visit all of the stations on the London Underground in one day. That day being the 13th March. All 270 stations using only public transport and my own two feet. And to make it more fun, we'll all be dressed as superheroes!

Starting at stupid O'clock at Heathrow in the far south-western corner of the Tube Map, and hopefully visiting every station on there (not including the Overground [Orange and white lines] or the DLR stations [Green and white lines]). Mad? Yes. Why do it? Well, it's for charity. And it should be fun. And I want to finish in a slightly quicker time than four months.

So, what can you do? Most importantly you can donate using the Comic Relief page. That's secure, the money goes directly to them and they can claim Gift Aid if you're a UK Tax payer, which basically means that the Inland Revenue add on 28% to your donation. Which is jolly good of them.

Another thing we could do with is helping us along on the day. We'll be taking food and drinks along with us, but backpacks only have a limited capacity and can get a tad heavy. However much I plan, I'll inevitably have eaten all my proper food by Lunchtime, and sweets/cheese will be gone well before that. Meeting up will be difficult (what with communication being a tad difficult when actually underground) and us being on a very tight schedule, but certainly not impossible.

If you think you may be able to give any kind of logistical/moral support then either leave a comment on here or email me (jamesthegill [at] gmail [dot] com) and we can discuss things.

Another thing, if all goes to plan then I'm going to be writing short updates to this blog on the trip, to keep you all up to speed with how we're doing. Most of the network is above ground and I will be using the new shiny sparkly toy called Twitter (as used by Stephen Fry - note: it's different to my personal twitter, if you didn't realise) to text updates to whenever I'm in a decent signal area.

And questions/offers of support can be made in the comments below (if there are enough then I may do a general FAQ post) or email me and I'll get back to you.

More work fun

2009-01-19T20:01:00.001Z

“Hello, you’re through to James at Sales, how can I help?”

“My PIN code’s not working.”

“Is this for call barring?”

“No, for my card.”

“Your card? Like, a payment card?”

“No, my bank card.”

“Ma’am, I would suggest that you contact your bank regarding that matter then.”

“Is this not Alliance & Leicester then?”

Current Obsessions

2009-01-17T20:29:00.003Z

Things I'm currently enamoured with:

Leverage. I haven't felt this excited about a new TV show since Veronica Mars. Think Ocean's 11 meets Robin Hood, written by Joss Whedon.

Rosie and the Goldbug. Like an unhyped Florence & The Machine. The album's caught me immediately; another three piece who sound BIG. Plus, Rosie's as cute as a bug, and the newsletters always make me laugh.

Rose Dougall. From Rosie to Rosay. I've been heavily into old-school Pipettes at the moment, and I'm loving Rose's solo stuff as well. Although this does mean I get rather distracted at the sight of polka dots.

Cadbury's Animals. Eight mini bags for a quid in Tesco's. Not only are they scrummy, but whenever me or Sarah pull out a monkey or a hippo, we must say straight away "I mock you with my monkey pants" in a French accent. Regardless of whether we're dealing with a customer/colleague/manager or not.

Work fun

2009-01-07T21:55:00.003Z

More from the files:

"I'm fed up with talking to those bloody Pakis in India!"

I wasn't allowed to call him an idiot on the phone. Despite my protestations that he was a complete berk, apparently it wouldn't be professional to point out the customer's shortcomings. My response of "but how else are they going to know?" was dismissed.

Also, we have strict procedures now on setting up email addresses for new broadband connections - the criteria is customer's first name, customer's surname and then a three digit number. Earlier today I was setting up internet for a customer, who was described as "completely barmy" by her son, who I was dealing with on the phone. The guy was a laugh, and I enjoyed talking to him, but the best bit came when I was setting the email address up.

"Ok, now I need you to get a three digit number from your mum, this'll be on the end of her email address, ideally something that's memorable to her."
"Ok then...Mum! This fella wants a three digit number that you'll remember!"
*faintly, in the background* "What's he want that for? My bank PIN's four digits, will that do?"
"Nah, something smaller, like 1-2-3!"
*still faintly* "Ok, how about 8-9-10?"

I swear I heard the son facepalm over the phone.

Most listened to artists of 2008

2009-01-01T17:42:00.002Z

According to my last.fm charts.

1 Los Campesinos! 637
2 Blood Red Shoes 548
3 Johnny Foreigner 413
4 Be Your Own Pet 335
5 Metallica 308
5 The Duke Spirit 308
7 Pink Floyd 260
8 Rilo Kiley 240
9 Rammstein 179
10 The Subways 176
11 Garbage 170
12 Easyworld 154
13 AC/DC 130
14 Operator Please 114
15 Paramore 108
16 Repo! OST 92
17 Aerosmith 88
18 Manics 85
19 The Donnas 83
20 Avril Lavigne 81
21 Led Zeppelin 80
22 Jenny Lewis 79
23 Goldfrapp 78
24 Amanda Palmer 77
25 Eagles 72
26 Joss Whedon 68
26 Alice Cooper 68
28 Yeah Yeah Yeahs 60
29 Jenny Lewis w/Watson Twins 53
30 The Dresden Dolls 52
31 Guns N' Roses 47
32 The Pipettes 41
33 Van Halen 39
33 Neil Young 39
35 Ash 36
36 Buffy 35
37 The Raveonettes 31
37 The Who 31
37 The Rolling Stones 31
40 My Chemical Romance 30
41 Radiohead 29
42 Metric 28
42 Rosie & The Goldbug 28
45 KISS 26
46 Johnny Cash 25
47 Mötley Crüe 23
48 Los Campesinos 22
48 Spinal Tap 22
50 Florence & The Machine 21

2008: My Year In Stuff

2008-12-29T09:57:00.002Z

Films of the year:

5. Wanted

In which we see guns, fast cars, Angelina Jolie's backside, Anton from Night Watch and Elton Pope from Doctor Who.

4. Forgetting Sarah Marshall

In which Veronica Mars dumps her ex-boyfriend's adopted step-sister's husband, who promptly shacks up with Jackie from That 70s Show. Russell Brand takes a break from torturing Spanish waiters too.

3. Juno

In which underage teen has premarital illegal unprotected sex, gets pregnant, has child out of wedlock, sells kid to single mum. A cautionary whale for our times. Strangely popular with the Daily Mail.

2. The Mist

In which we find that the monsters lurking outside in the fog aren't necessarily as scary as the humans inside with you. Bonus! Contains the happiest ending ever.

1. The Dark Knight

What, you expected Twilight?

Five new TV shows that took my fancy:

5. Chuck

4. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

3. Leverage

2. Mad Men

1. How I Met Your Mother

Funny quotes from the year:

Sarah Connor: Nobody dies until I say so.
Cameron: People die all the time, they won’t wait for her.
Sarah telling a strangely literal robot not to kill anyone.

"[Penny's] giving it up hard 'cause she's with Captain Hammer and these [holds up fists] are not the hammer."
Captain Hammer explaining his seduction technique.

"...the hammer is my penis."
A little too literally.

Betty: "Why aren't you disciplining your son?"
Don: "My father beat the hell out of me to discipline me, and all it did was make me fantasize about the day I could murder him."
Family control, Mad Men style.

He may not fit society's definition of a hero, but he is the hero I needed. The hero who helped me recover from the disaster of my failed almost-marriage and get back into the game. He lives in the shadows. Is he a dream? Truth? Fiction? Damnation? Salvation? He is all these things and none of them. He is -- The Naked Man.
Hey, it works two out of three times.

"Who needs love when the sandwiches are wicked and they know you at the Mac store?"
Amanda Palmer finds pleasure in other things.

I like her hair. I wonder if the carpet matches her pubes.
Paul Rudd's attempts at scene stealing, Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

I once saw a horse kill a clown. (Flashback to: a man in a horse costume beats up another man in a clown costume) I just really don’t like horses.
One explanation for why Parker is as kooky as she is, Leverage.

2008: A Short History Of Nearly Nothing

2008-12-28T20:05:00.002Z

Things that I've done this year:

Celebrated the new year in a bath.
Seen a cracking Duke Spirit gig.
Dressed up, then had a picnic on the Circle line.
Saw two Blood Red Shoes gigs in two different capital cities in the space of 24 hours.
Been a train before being told not to take the piss by cheekily requesting that Steven get me a cuppa at the Sister Ray instore.
Proved that those pills from the spam emails really *do* work.
Created a blog (look, do you really need a link?)
Finally completed the visit to all 274 Tube stations, shortly before seeing be your own PET again.
Blagged expensive tickets to see The Eagles.
Celebrated mine and Katy's one year anniversary by being ill.
Encouraged a stage invasion before cramming a blog post full of Pink Floyd song titles.
Freaked out the lead singer of one of my new favourite bands by dreaming about her.
Disgusted an entire train carriage of people with one offhand comment (I'm still rather proud of this).
Inadvertently met half of Mystery Jets and Laura Marling.
Built on my experience of tube challenging by getting a worse time for this year's Zone 1 than last year, but making up for it by winning best team name.
Blew up one motorbike...
...then bought a new one.
Heard the new Subways album before anybody else, and gave it what proved to be one of the more positive reviews. (It's still better than WAB, WAD.)
Being introduced to the best new musical of our time.
Tried a new Kentish festival (or should that be Festival of Kent?) and geeked out with Ellen Campesinos!.
Convinced myself that all I had to do to beat this illness was to stop being sick and start being awesome instead. It didn't work. I celebrated the anniversary of my birth by being ill.
Had the most utterly fucking terrifying dream I've ever had when I dreamed I'd imagined the entire last four years.
Gaining £330 due to a bet365 cock-up.
Saw the last ever be your own PET gig.
Nearly died, but ironically survived due to speeding.
Saw Metallica for a fiver!
Took a six week leave of absence (fully paid) from work for being a naughty boy.
Took a trip to Stoke to see new people and old friends.
Had a deep and spiritual (read: drunken) moment on Bognor Regis beach.
Posted my most read blog post ever about Joss Whedon and High School Musical. I may do a JW/Twilight one when I'm better.
Went down to Brighton, didn't sleep all night, came home, slept like a baby.
Seen Los Campesinos again, and bumping into workmates on the coach home.
Receiving a phone call from my boss on the train going up to my 20th Blood Red Shoes gig giving me my job back, and proceeding to celebrate by getting wasted.
Being introduced to the second best new musical of our time.
Hearing a fantastic new song.
Coming down with tonsillitis again to round the year off with.

Top albums of 2008

2008-12-24T22:05:00.003Z

I'd planned to do this like my top songs, revealing each one day by day in a countdown fashion.

Couldn't be arsed. Have a list instead, with a five word description.

14.
Alphabeat - This Is Alphabeat

Good fun Danish euro pop.

13.
Los Campesinos! - We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed

Indifferent collection of album rejects.

12.
Goldfrapp - Seventh Tree

Light floaty pretty ethereal songs.

11.
The Subways - All Or Nothing

Blinding when good, only sometimes.

10.
Operator Please - Yes Yes Vindictive

Australian punk pop cheerful fun.

9.
Jenny Lewis - Acid Tongue

Another disappointingly patchy second album.

8.
Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog OST

Best musical of the year.

7.
Metallica - Death Magnetic

Return to thrash metal form.

6.
Be Your Own Pet - Get Awkward

Second and final album, sadly.

5.
Duke Spirit - Neptune

Superb second album after delays.

4.
Blood Red Shoes - Box Of Secrets

Grunge-punk enjoyable loud debut.

3.
Amanda Palmer - Who Killed Amanda Palmer?

Strangely diversely brilliant solo effort.

2.
Los Campesinos! - Hold On Now, Youngster...

Chirpy happy twee(xcore) international debut.

1.
Johnny Foreigner - Waited Up 'Til It Was Light

Stunning. (Doot doot doot doot)

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 1

2008-12-20T09:00:00.001Z

1. Goldfrapp - A&E

So, my favourite song of the year. I've loved it ever since I first heard it way back in January, and the Live Lounge version's even better.

Coming up - albums of the year.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 2

2008-12-19T09:00:00.000Z

2. Johnny Foreigner - Salt, Pepper and Spinderella

Doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 3

2008-12-18T09:00:00.000Z

3. Blood Red Shoes - This Is Not For You

Ha, surprised you, didn't I? How many of you regulars (both of you) thought this lot would be number one? An absolutely blinding, powerful song, with a great video in which you're never too sure whether Steve and Laura-Mary are going to kill each other or fuck each other. The second best single from the album, and if the original video for Say Something Say Anything had been released, that would probably have taken top spot. As it happens, click the link below, and enjoy this.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z8nnZuRvrg

(Confident you know what my number one song will be? You're wrong.)

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 4

2008-12-17T21:55:00.002Z

4. Los Campesinos! - My Year In Lists

The song which will lend its title to many a blog post over the coming fortnight. Give one minute and fifty seconds of your time to this song, and be cheery.

(As I heard Y!M!D! last year, it's ruled out of the countdown.)

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 5

2008-12-16T09:00:00.002Z

So, we're into the top five. The final countdown. (Not, actually, The Final Countdown. Though that'd be cool too.)

5. Duke Spirit - The Step And The Walk

Leading single from Neptune, another "second album" that I'd been eagerly awaiting this year, and absolutely stonking live. a slow burner to start that suddenly explodes and races to a finish, filled with barely restrained fury.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 6

2008-12-15T17:01:00.001Z

6. Amanda Palmer - Oasis

It's a song that sounds like the Beach Boys, and is about date rape, child molestation, abortion and Britpop groups. Naturally it was dedicated to ~~Tina Fey~~ Sarah Palin. What's not to like?

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 7

2008-12-15T16:58:00.003Z

7. Alexa Vega & Tony Head - Seventeen

Second song from a musical in the top 20, and a bit of a cheat as this hasn't been released legally over here yet. But sod it. Yes, that is Giles from Buffy. Yes, that is the cute girl from Spy Kids. Yes, that is Joan Jett playing guitar in a cameo.

The musical is Repo: A Genetic Opera and it's like if Rocky Horror was directed by Tim Burton with music by Nine Inch Nails.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 8

2008-12-13T09:00:00.001Z

8. Metallica - The Day That Never Comes

As fellow BRS boardie and blog follower James Ether commented on his review of Death Magnetic, "It was never going to be hard to make an album better than St Anger. Metallica could've recorded the sounds of the group collectively farting and it'd be better than their last album." (A line which I will steal for my end of year album list too.)

So yes, a return to the thrash metal basics. This song, if you know Metallica, starts off like Fade To Black and ends like One. The video fits it well, even if the subjects are different (the song's about domestic abuse, the second such song on this list after Florence and the Machine). If you can, watch the video without any distractions.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 9

2008-12-12T09:00:00.001Z

9. Be Your Own PET! - Heart Throb

Sadly, this band split this year. It's quite emotional for me, as I've been into them since early 2005 when they were mentioned in a radio show about women in rock. I've followed them since the early days of the Damn Damn Leash EP, so they're the first band I've watched get bigger to split. The second album, released March this year, sounded exactly as expected - byoP with two more years worth of experience and maturity.

This song was included in a mix CD I made for a friend who had just split up with her very long term boyfriend, it's an absolutely cracking song about wanting something you can't have, and the video below is from the final ever gig at Dingwalls, which was just as mental as previous gigs have been :D

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 10

2008-12-11T09:00:00.001Z

10. Florence and the Machine - Kiss With A Fist

I first heard this way way way back in February when Hannah sent me it. (She also sent me yesterday's song, so she's got a pretty good track record.) It was filed under "good" until the DJ happened to play it in the tent at Lounge on the Farm before Los Campesinos came on (yes, the same DJ who played song 12 in this list) which reminded me of how good it was.

Have Florence performing it live at Camden Crawl.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 11

2008-12-10T09:00:00.001Z

11. Rosie and the Goldbug - Lover

You know how it is when you hear a song so amazing that it grabs you the first moment you hear it, and you want to do nothing but listen to it over and over and over again?

This is that song, the one I've been listening to on repeat over the last hour. I've had to rejig my top songs countdown to put it in. #12 was originally supposed to be Alphabeat - Fascination, but this has surpassed it. I only found out about it on Sunday!

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 12

2008-12-09T20:09:00.003Z

12. AC/DC - Rock n Roll Train

When I was told that AC/DC were to be releasing new material this year I laughed with disbelief. "Pull the other one" I said, jokingly. "What, is it a joint release with Chinese Democracy?"

Egg, meet face. This is the lead off track from the album Black Ice, and is quite possibly the first ever music video created in Excel. Yes, the spreadsheet program.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 13

2008-12-08T09:00:00.000Z

13. Kevin Tuffy - Oh Dearest Daughter

Bit of an unknown this. I first heard it while in a tent at Lounge on the Farm, two songs after Kiss with a Fist, and was taken by it straight away. After googling the lyrics I made a note to download it as soon as I could, finding this fella's Myspace and ripping it from that. The song itself features Laura Marling on vocals, and is more of a story than a song. This is the only song on my list that I won't have a video for, as there aren't any decent ones on YouTube. Instead, I implore you to listen to it (it's track 5 on his Myspace player) and read the lyrics below.

It all starts in a fast-food joint of Biblical proportion,
In a small toilet that makes love some kind of astounding contortion,
Although it isn't noisy
Oh the love it speaks volumes,
Kebabs and burgers a million miles away
Just four foot from the bathroom,
She's beautiful and radiant
There's two of her she's blurry,
He's nameless knight-in-shining-armour he said he's working early,
He said he'd walk her to the bus stop
Said she'd catch the N11
He said that the ladder in her tights was a stairway to heaven,
She threw up in the car park, oh her head it is a-pounding,
He held her hair from her face joked "shall I get another round in?"
She won't remember that he said that - won't remember much in the morning,
She'll be pregnant and nine months away from the hospital her daughter will be born in,

And she'll cry her little heart out
She'll curse the vodka lemonade conception,
She'll curse fast-food joints and alcohol
Her life and his erection
And she'll mutter hatred and regret directed at her newborn
She'll hate herself for not deciding to go with an abortion

She comfort-buys a pram a pop star had in the newspaper
She takes a photo of her daughter on her phone as the wallpaper,
And she names her after the supermodel who looked best this season
She plans out her christening, the priest asks why she has no reason,
Because she does not care for the God she heard about in conversation
There's no guardian angel leaving her signs in the time board at the train station
Her purpose for existence isn't etched into the tree outside her house
So her guardian angel doesn't do their job and should have been fired by now
Her daughter is angelic and nauseating at the same time
She personifies her big mistake and breaks her heart with a smile

Reluctant grandma says it's time for a break a night out with the girls
So it's hair straighteners and gloss and make-up squeezing into that short skirt

It's music lights and dancing,
Fake IDs, queues at the bar,
Rums and cokes, laughing fit blokes, and twenties from her bra
When her stare finds a familiar stranger, playing pool, potting a red
She knows that face those eyes but she can't remember from where

He walks over London Pride in hand gives her a grin a wink,
He drops her a cheesy "Don't I know you?" line and she's still trying to think,
She figures it out, she wants to die,
The room blacks out it's 10:07
The remnants of a "Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?"
10:08 and all the time she's lost because of the boy sitting next to her,
She reaches for her purse to take out the photo of her daughter,
He ponders, thinks, says: "Hey she's cute,
What is she, your sister?
You're cute, too" and he's away leaning in to kiss her,
10:09
"No, stop it! Can't you fucking remember
The drunk girl you slurred I love you to in West Kebab last December,
Like it or not you're this girl's dad,
This girl she's your daughter,
Get your hand off my shoulder
I need a glass of water"

And the parents of a young Londoner sit and have nothing to say,
Welcome to the world, would be a start.
We're ready to bring you up the right way...

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 14

2008-12-07T19:14:00.003Z

14. The Subways - I Won't Let You Down

I've liked this song ever since a live version from Reading last year hit the web, and I was pleased that the studio hadn't lost anything in translation. Disagreements with band members aside, it's an absolutely cracking song, reminiscent of anything found on Young For Eternity.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 15

2008-12-06T09:18:00.003Z

15. MGMT - Time To Pretend

You all know this one. It's been everywhere from Gossip Girl, Skins, various football highlights and Simon Pegg films. It's infectious, cheery, and poppy as hell.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 16

2008-12-05T09:00:00.000Z

16. Dr Horrible - My Eyes
Before the middle of July, I thought of Neil Patrick Harris only as Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother, and Felicia Day as Vi from the last few episodes of Buffy. Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog (a web based musical experience) changed all that. Simply, NPH plays a supervillian who has simple aims - conquering the world, and winning the heart of Penny (Felicia Day) who happens to go to the same laundrette as him.

The song below kicks off Act II, just after Dr Horrible had inadvertantly introduced the love of his life to his arch-nemisis (played by Nathan Fillion) and the pair present contrasting views on the world at large. It's worth watching the video, to see
NPH in the soup kitchen background, and Fillion's fear of ducks!

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 17

2008-12-04T09:00:00.000Z

17. Operator Please - Leave It Alone
Foolishly I missed the chance to see this band in Canterbury last year, but made the trek to see them at Koko in May. I was glad that I did, as I need a chirpy, impossibly young and cute (Taylor on violins appears in the dictionary under "jailbait") fun band in my life, especially now that be your own PET! have disbanded.

More bands need violins. Every band should have a string section, it really adds something to the music (see: Los Campesinos, Blood Red Shoes). As for this song, 3 minutes and 38 seconds of pure pop fun.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of 2008: 18

2008-12-03T09:44:00.000Z

18. Jenny Lewis - Jack Killed Mom
Given my squeefulness at finally meeting her last year, you'd expect Jenny Lewis to at least be in the top ten, right? Well, Acid Tongue was part of a smattering of disappointing second albums released this year (see also: The Subways, Los Campesinos) and this was the best of a pretty poor bunch.

I've linked to a live version as it's far better than on record, it has much more life to it and is generally more stirring than the one committed to disc. Trivia: this is the second song on the list inspired by a biblical tale.

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of the year: 19

2008-12-02T15:33:00.004Z

19. Mystery Jets - Two Doors Down
At the start of this year, Mystery Jets to me were just another faceless indie band interchangable with the Wombats, Automatic, Arctic Monkeys and We Are Scientists. Then I accidentally saw them live not once but twice over the summer, and found that they are actually quite enjoyable.

My rules for this list state no more than one appearance by any one artist. Because of this I can't post the duet "Young Love", as Laura Marling appears later on in a higher positioned song, so I've gone for the cheerful, catchier than syphilis, "Two Doors Down".

Blogvent Calendar: Top songs of the year: 20

2008-12-01T09:15:00.003Z

To count down the year's top songs (in my own opinion) I've decided to release them day by day, in an advent calendar-y fashion.

20. Shirley Manson - Samson and Delilah
Despite Garbage being on indefinite hiatus, Shirley Manson's solo album was still supposed to surface around August of this year. Then, within two weeks in May, we first get the announcement that Shirley would be starring in the new series of Terminator:The Sarah Connor Chronicles, which was almost immediately followed by Warner announcing that the album wouldn't be released as it was "too dark" for their liking. No shit, she's not Katy Perry.

Imagine my surprise then, when the pre-credits teaser for the season opener had no dialogue, but a Shirley Manson cover of an old Gospel classic (made famous by Bruce Springsteen's cover). A fittingly awesome way to start a season which has gone from strength to strength. In fact, Garbage have released two other songs this year - a country-esque ballad which appeared on a "Free Tibet" charity CD, and a newly released song "Witness To Your Love" which cropped up on an urban outfitters compilation.

What if?

2008-10-30T21:46:00.004Z

The first in an irregular series.

What if Joss Whedon wrote High School Musical?

No, don't laugh. He's got experience - even if you shunned the Buffy musical episode "Once More With Feeling" (shame on you!), this summer's Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog should have set you straight on his pedigree. Plus, if you're over the age of 8 and/or male, you'll need a healthy dose of wit to counteract the Disney saccharine overdose. He's written for Mouschwitz before (1995's Toy Story). Who better to pen this generation's answer to Grease?

How would it differ?

The basketball team would finally believe this is their year if they "don't keep having so many mysterious deaths".

The basketball coach who looks like Nathan Fillion would actually be played by Nathan Fillion. He would also be funnier, wear a long brown coat and make unseemly references to his hammer.

Gabriella would turn down a short annoying nerd who asks her out in the first act.

Troy would have a younger sister called River, who speaks with a strange evenness, selects her words a shade too precisely and is a ballet dancer.

The camp, possibly gay "bad guy" brother of the main villian will be actually gay, witty, and probably played by Tom Lenk.

The main villian/cheerleader/whatever will actually have some character depth to her and do well on standardised tests.

The captain of the cheerleading squad will, in a break from the norm, be the archtypal bad girl who strangely has cheerleading experience.

A main character will suddenly appear halfway through. This will not be commented upon, and in fact the main cast will act like they've always been there.

The character who likes baking will be renamed Ben, and instead of baking will have a thing for occasionally dressing as a woman and acting like a goddess.

The science nerds will have goggles to add to their lab coats, be seeking wonderflonium and have a disturbing relationship with the equestrian club.

The principal will be played by Adam Baldwin, who will not only steal every scene, but enjoy lording his position of power over the basketball coach.

Gabriella and Troy will finally get together, shortly before she is shot by the short irritating nerd she rejected early on. Possibly from the clocktower with a high powered rifle, just to fit in.

Solace

2008-10-19T01:26:00.000+01:00

I'm standing on a groyne on Bognor Regis beach, watching the waves break around and underneath my feet.

It's calming. All I have in front of me are three wooden pillars and a whole lot of nothingness. Makes you think.

Music was my first love...

2008-10-04T22:29:00.002+01:00

Whenever I get worried, or stressed, or mopey, I tend to find comfort in music, and regress back to the songs I grew up listening to. Way back when I was naïve and didn't know about the bad things in the world.

So, classic rock songs. To rebel in my house I had to listen to Bros, but quickly realised that Dad's music was much more enjoyable than what was in the charts.

I realised earlier I grew up listening to songs about cars (Van Halen - Panama), drugs (Mötley Crüe - Dr. Feelgood), breaking the law (Judas Priest - Breaking the Law), deviant women (Alice Cooper - Poison, Mötley Crüe - Girls Girls Girls, Whitesnake - Fool For Your Lovi', Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name, etc, etc), gambling (Mötörhead - Ace of Spades), breaking prisoners out of jail (AC/DC - Jailbreak, Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak) and various animal life (Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell, Lynyrd Skynyrd - Freebird, etc).

Is it really any wonder I turned out like I did?

Invisibility

2008-09-11T15:06:00.003+01:00

Apparently my bike has an invisibility cloak.

Kent, it's lovely. Garden of England, full of sweeping hills, green stuff, sheep and yokels. In the 1960s the government decided to improve traffic flows by building a few motorways; the M20 took a lot of the traffic away from the A20, which meant that my ride to Canterbury from Bearsted this morning along the A20 was fun. There were three cars doing the same journey, all of whom saw (or possibly heard) me coming and gave me ample room to overtake.

As the weather was clear and the roads were dry, I wasn't hanging about much, enjoying riding to the top of my abilities. Yes, I was speeding, driving at around 90mph. As I approached Charing I noticed a purple 52 plate Ford Focus coming the opposite way to me, indicating right to turn across my carriageway and down the Hart Hill road. "No problem" thinks I, "he'll notice me and stop."

He didn't.

Luckily I was paying attention to him the whole time and when he started moving across my lane I swerved over and held down the horn. He still didn't stop. I have a mark on my jeans where I took dirt off his front bumper. My escapes have never been narrower, and my underwear never browner. I was pretty shaken up by this, understandably, and took the rest of the ride back at a slower pace.

It's somewhat ironic that speeding actually saved me. Had I been riding at the speed limit I would've driven straight into the passenger door, gone over the top and done some serious damage to both vehicles and myself. Speeding kills, but in this instance it saved me.

Connections

2008-08-28T10:03:00.003+01:00

Got my first Planet Rock connection in ages today, and it only took two and a half songs - my quickest yet!

Bon Jovi - Keep The Faith
Black Sabbath - Fairies Wear Boots
ZZ Top - I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide
Sensational Alex Harvey Band - Next
Oasis - Little By Little
Fleetwood Mac - The Chain
Focus - Hocus Pocus
Sweet - Blockbuster

Eight songs, seven connected, one odd one out. The link is chain stores, the odd one out being the Fleetwood Mac song.

I will admit that when I woke up to the Bon Jovi track, I was hoping that it'd be a Buffy connection, but sadly it wasn't to be. Which reminds me, I must do my Doctor Who themed one. Any suggestions? I know what the odd one out will be, I'm going for Pink Floyd - One Of These Days as it briefly samples the theme tune.

Be Your Own Pet

2008-08-27T17:21:00.003+01:00

Way back in February 2005, I went to see The Donnas play at the Astoria. I turned up early, knowing from past experience that there would be a meet and greet for the first 25 fans in the queue. While at the meet and greet I noticed a young lady with a BBC bag and a microphone trying her best to blend in with the wallpaper, so I went over and had a chat with her. It turned out that she was producing a program about women in rock music for the Steve Lamacq show, and would I be able to contribute a few words on the subject?

Boy, would I ever! Anyway, as luck would have it they ignored the five minutes of enthusing about Shirley Manson, Karen O et al and used the one out of context line that made me sound like a pervert, but still. This radio show went out on April 4th, when I was on holiday, so I used the Listen Again feature to rip the stream and keep the show permanently. Listening to it you had the usual stuff from the Donnas, Shirley Manson, Justine Fleischmann, Charlotte Cooper...and at the end, it mentioned the "next wave" of female musicians, including Jemina Pearl of Be Your Own Pet, and they played a snippet of Damn Damn Leash. "Gosh," I thought, "this lot are good. Can I find any mp3s through various illegal file sharing services?".

No, was the answer. I was forced to spend £5 on the two CDs and one 7 inch single available on their online store. When it arrived it included a note from Jonas and Jamin saying that I was their new favourite person for buying the BYOP stuff, and also included sweets. Any band that gives me sweets with their music (barring this one, of course) I'll instantly love! I found out that they were due to play over here at the Purple Turtle and immediately bought tickets, failing to realise that I'd be at Glastonbury that day. By this time they'd also released the Fire Department EP, which I also purchased (and gained some friends on the then-new Subways board by sharing it around). The first chance I'd get to see them live would be at Glastonbury festival itself, where they were playing on the Friday. For those with short memories, Glastonbury 2005 had a run of several days of scorching hot weather, so consequently when it bucketed down on the Thursday night/Friday morning the water didn't soak into the ground, it just ran off it. Having to dodge mud and lakes in a pair of boots that were as watertight as a sponge, and paying £4 for a butterscotch crêpe that was a total ripoff meant I wasn't in the best of moods. The vocals were really hard to hear and at the time, I just wanted a nice warm meal (which incidently I had straight after, one of the nicest curries I've ever eaten) so I didn't come away with a high opinion of them. I was willing to give them another try though.

That chance came a few months later, on Hallowe'en. I was in Oxford to see them supporting the Kills, with Becky (who was not stabbed with knifes after class) which was a much more enjoyable experience. As the Yanks really go big for Hallowe'en the band were dressed up, which meant I was right down the front for Jemina in a nurses outfit. They looked like they were having fun, bounding around the stage like me after too many cups of tea, and I was glad I gave them a second chance. I hung around after to meet them, and managed to kiss Jemina (which I think might've annoyed the young lady I was with - shit happens).

Over the Christmas period the first album leaked, and was repeatedly played by all those in my circle of friends (which, quite funnily, have completely changed apart from one person) despite the proper release being put back until March. They announced two London dates at the beginning of February - one at Bush Hall, the other at Camden Barfly - and of course I went to both. At the Bush Hall gig there was nobody selling merchandise, and being drunk, I decided that Cal and I would do it. I still don't know my reasoning behind it even now (being drunk, probably) and it's incredibly cringeworthy to think about it. Bush Hall is quite a nice, posh venue and the solitary bouncer was woefully underprepared for the fun that by now was happening at every BYOP show. I decided to get on the act, got on stage and took my first stage dive, over five rows of moshing people into a large gap. It didn't hurt that much, surprisingly (being drunk, probably). The next night at the Barfly was more restrained, possibly due to a lack of space, so we decided to make our own stage invasion anyway. A photo of Marie dancing on stage with Jemina at this gig found its way into an American fashion magazine - such is life. This pair of gigs was mostly to promote the single Lets Get Sandy, which is notable for the 30 second iTunes sample being more than half the song.

They came back over in April, after the album's launch, and played a gig in a bowling alley. It's still the most surreal place I've seen a gig (including that church in Amsterdam) and as the stage was 6 inches high us poor sods at the front (who clearly hadn't learnt that BYOP gigs get fucking mental) ended up with bruised shins, and then sitting on the stage. A little under two weeks later they were back in London, playing a bigger gig at ULU. This was the first BYOP gig that I came away feeling less than impressed, probably due to a large amount of the crowd being beered up and clearly only there because they thought Jemina was hot. A large amount of them had only got into the band with the release of Adventure a few weeks previously. (Yeah, I sound like a snob.) Still, the new song "Chicken Wings" left a lot of people thinking that the second album would sound good. Even though it didn't appear anywhere on it.

The next time they played anywhere near me was at the Reading Festival, that August. They played on the Saturday, around mid afternoon (between the hours of lunch and football) and it turned out that it was the last of the classic lineup, as the drummer left after the Leeds gig the following day. Jemina shocked everyone by wearing a dress, and Chicken Wings got another airing. By this time the band had released an EP which was basically two album tracks plus the Fire Department EP - the video for Bicycle, Bicycle was worth the rerelease.

And then they disappeared for two years. Well, spent their time in America, touring with the Artic Monkeys (what the hell?) to try and crack the States, and then spending time writing their second album. This promptly leaked onto the internet (minus the opening track, Super Soaked) and so when they came over to play an instore gig the day after release to promote it, a fair few people knew the songs. A nice mix of old and new stuff, including a blistering version of Adventure, and an indication of things to come with a lack of setlist. The crowd were deathly quiet between songs, blatently eavesdropping on the band's conversation, which meant that when someone's phone went off and started playing "Bare Necessities" everybody found it funny. The band were happy to chat and discuss tattooes afterwards at the signing, all was good.

And then came April Fool's Day. A gig at the Scala, again populated by an obnoxious crowd (including the obligatory drunk fat guy) and a long day which left everyone tired and not up for a gig. It didn't help that there was little crowd interaction (mostly Jemina telling arseholes to fuck off) but it left a few people with a sour taste in the mouth, and no real desire to see them again. I was planning on seeing them at Reading anyway, given that they were between Blood Red Shoes and The Duke Spirit on the same stage and I'm lazy, but my illness put paid to that.

Then they announced that they were splitting, and suddenly the gig at Dingwalls became a tad more important. After spending my birthday money in Forbidden Planet and having a lovely burger in the Wetherspoons at Victoria, it was off up to Camden to the gig. As nobody really knew what time the doors opened we ambled our way up to the venue, and camped outside in the courtyard with quite a few other people who had to be scene to be believed. Waiting around inside I stood with my back against a barrier, with Katy and Sian leaning against it on the other side on the level above. The Hot Melts were alright, and I bumped into James again (I swear he's been at more of my gigs this year than not) before scaring Ollie from my board with a bear hug. Unfortunately we were lacking the required number of boardies to play catch with him (we'll wait til Christmas) so I hugged him instead. The set was 60-40 split in favour of the newer stuff, which I personally was disappointed with as I have a lot of fond memories of the older stuff, but shit happens. Ten minutes in (after they'd finished the sixth song) I decided that this would be my last chance to experience how mental a BYOP gig is, so left my stuff with the girls and elbowed my way down the front, eventually ending up sitting on the stage as my shinbones were in real danger of serious damage. The band finished up with Bicycle, Bicycle (which I was pleased about as I got to do the whole "have fun, be safe with it" bit one last time) and Supersoaked, at which point I decided I was tired of having sweaty men rubbing themselves on me and headed back out to the girls. I was knackered, bruised and soaked with sweat, but ever so glad I went one last time.

So, at the stroke of 10 the band finished. They didn't come back out for an encore, that was it. My last abiding memories of them involved Jemina landing on me and me getting a mouthfull of her peroxide hair. I'm glad I went, it was a much better send off than the Scala gig. I'll just have to wait til she comes back touring her solo album!

Be Your Own Pet gigs
24/06/2005 - Glastonbury, Somerset
31/10/2005 - Zodiac, Oxford
01/02/2006 - Bush Hall, London
02/02/2006 - Barfly, London
08/04/2006 - Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes, London
21/04/2006 - ULU, London
26/08/2006 - Reading Festival, Reading
18/03/2008 - Banquet Records, Kingston
01/04/2008 - The Scala, London
26/08/2008 - Dingwalls, London

Thanks, guys, for a fun few years.

Computer games vs real life

2008-08-11T20:21:00.003+01:00

I like to think that I'm reasonably well adjusted as a person (stop sniggering at the back there). By this I mean, I know the difference between violence depicted on pixels and real life. Reading about the Georgian teens who apparently learned how to make Molotov cocktails via GTA made me just want to dig Liberty City Stories out again.

And that's the difference. I'm intelligent enough to know what's real (e.g. Buffy) and what's not (e.g. Terminator) and know what's right and wrong. I play on GTA a fair bit, yet don't get the urge to gun down swathes of pedestrians (well, no more than normal people). I play on Settlers way too much, especially while off sick, yet have never sent a battalion of Roman troops in to attack a Chinese guard tower. I play on Quake, yet I'm a crap shot. I should comfortably be able to say, hand on heart, that computer games don't effect me.

Until I hear the opening riff of Sweet Child O' Mine on Planet Rock, and suddenly my mind thinks "Green blue red green orange red blue red green blue red green". Maybe I'm not as well adjusted as I thought.

Karma puh-lease

2008-08-09T20:31:00.004+01:00

(And the puntastic titles continue)

Earlier today I got one of those strong, gut feelings that I get. For a change this wasn't urging me to kidnap Maggie Gyllenhaal and so I listened to it. I had a feeling that the Gillingham - Bournemouth game would end in a 1-1 draw and so I went into my online betting account to see if I had any money left over from the Euro 2008 betting, fully expecting to see a balance of £0.01 staring back at me.

When I found I had £330.01 in there, I was rather shocked. Assuming it was a computing error I checked the bet history to find that there was a bet of £180 placed on the cricket, on England to win at odds of 5/6, on Sunday July 20th. I was fairly certain that I didn't place this bet as a) I don't have £180 to waste (I only gamble what I can afford to lose), b) I know very little about cricket, c) what I do know about cricket is to be against England and d) Sundays are usually spent doing very little. Something was rotten in the state of Denmark (and Georgia, too, but I can't sort that). I fired off an email to customer services, changed my passwords and updated all my information.

About 10 minutes ago I got a phone call from a very nice chap at bet365 who had investigated it for me. It turns out that the original bet was placed over the phone and the operator had gone into the wrong account (it happens, I've done it) but as an apology they allowed me to keep the winnings. So I've got the £180 back that I didn't realise I was missing, plus an extra £150 because the bet came off! I'll be buying dinner on Thursday for everybody :D

Postscript: I never did put the money on Gillingham to draw, as I wasn't sure if it was my money to begin with. Every time I start to regret it I think "yeah, but you won £150!" and it goes away.

Feverish Dreams

2008-07-30T21:03:00.003+01:00

Last night I came down with something. Normally I'll wake up ill, but this just pounced on me and suddenly I'm sweating, shivering, struggling to sleep, having trouble staying awake and generally not feeling good.

Mind you, you can always count on some quite frankly amazingly weird dreams when you're feverish. Just this afternoon I had a somewhat odd one (not involving any members of Los Campesinos! for a change) which had Paramore's Hayley Williams batting for the Boston Red Sox. Odd in itself, but running across the middle of the Sox' ground 20 feet above second base (and it wasn't Fenway Park either) happened to be the Beckton branch of the Docklands Light Railway.

Tube Music

2008-07-29T21:23:00.004+01:00

Or: punning songs to use for team names for next year's zone 1.

Frankie Goes To Chorleywood - Relax
Bethnal Green Day - St Jimmy's Park (two for one!)
Blur - Elm Parklife
Marvin Gaye - Sexual Ealing Broadway
The Kinks - Waterloo Sunset
Aerosmith - Janie's Got A Gunnersbury
Led Zeppelin - Archway to Holbourn
Simon and Garfunkel - Uxbridge Over Troubled Water
The Who - Let's See Acton Town
Pet Shop Boys - Hounslow West End Girls
Gerry Rafferty - Baker Street
Blood Redbridge Shoes - It's Getting Barking By The Sea
The Beatles - You've Got To Hyde Park Corner Your Hollaway
Dream Academy - Life In A Northolt Town
AC/DC - Back In Blackfriars
McLusky - Lightsaber Cockfosters Blues
Whitney Euston - I don't actually know any of her songs beside the awful Dolly Parton cover.
The Waitress - Christmas Wapping
Alice Cooper - Harrow*, Hooray
Yazz - The Only Way Is Upminster
Aerosmith - Angel
Boston Manor - Moor Park Than A Feeling
Fine Young Canon's Park - She Drives Me Crazy
Los Camdenparkpesinos - We Throw Poplar, You Throw Knightsbridge
The Clash - London City Airport Calling
Easyworld - This Is Where I Stanmore**
Queensbury of the Stonebridge Park Age - You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollis Hill, But I Feel Like A Mill Hill East
Brixton Spears - Baby One Moorgate Time

And to finish:
Los Campesinos - The International Tweexcore London Underground

*Yes, I know it's Harrow-On-The-Hill. But it loses something if I do that.
** Myself and Jack came up with a good dozen Easyworld puns on the DLR challenge last year.

Reading lineup

2008-07-22T20:11:00.002+01:00

As all the cool people (well, Laura, but she's cool enough anyway) are doing this, I'd leap aboard the bandwagon like a majestic pike.

Friday
Blood Red Shoes
Be Your Own Pet
The Duke Spirit (all in a row, on the one stage)
Florence and the Machine (possibly, after The Duke Spirit, although there's some overlap)
MGMT (if I feel like it)
QOTSA
Rage Against The Machine (well, I'll give them a go. There's sod all else on against them - Babyshittles?)

Saturday
The Subways (if I'm bored and want to holler "You Got Me" at Billy)
Mystery Jets (possibly)
Los Campesinos!
Justice (possibly)
Bullet For My Valentine (maybe)
Manic Street Preachers (I want to see them live at least once)

So, Saturday'll be the day I check out the record fair at the leisure centre then.

Sunday
Nothing until half 3. Go into Reading, buy train ticket home.
Johnny Foreigner
Feeder (maybe)
Slipknot (if I feel like it)
Tenacious D (on what narcotics I'm influenced by)
Metallica (definitely. I'd leave for home after JoFo if it wasn't for them.)

I think Sunday will be spent sitting gazing at the main stage finishing off any remaining alcohol.

Lounging on the farm

2008-07-12T21:38:00.002+01:00

Due to Electric Gardens not being on this year, I was left with a gap in my Kent festival calendar. Rather than go to the new fangled, over the top Zoo8 where there was only one band I wanted to see, I plumped for the more local Lounge on the Farm, which had two. This proved to be wise, as JoFo cancelled due to a lack of money from the now bankrupt organisers.

Sensibly, rather than ride to Merton Farm just outside of Canterbury, I got the train from Maidstone. This was mainly because I was round Katy's the night before. As JoFo weren't on til 6pm we left after lunch, with me clad in just a t-shirt on top despite the grey clouds, which seemed to darken as we drew nearer the city. After a walk through town we caught the bus to the remote farm where I hoped I could purchase a ticket on the gate. This worry, combined with the two girls behind us on the bus "woop woop"ing at any chance didn't put me in the best of moods.

However, once through the gate and while waiting for Katy and Sian to get their rather pretty wristbands, I noticed Junior and Kelly from JoFo getting out of their van, which brightened my mood. Walking round to the festival site we passed Indie Mae of Burning Leaves, another band I wanted to see but couldn't as they clashed with JoFo. By this time the sun had come out and I'd even rolled up my sleeves to get some colour on my shoulders.

Having a nice explore of the site Katy pointed out that we were walking along behind Aleks Campesinos. I didn't approach her as the only time I've really spoken to her was when I was drunk (for medicinal purposes) at ULU. That and the fact that my subconscious thinks she's a grand sorceress meant I was a tad shy. Continuing to wander we passed Neil and Harriet Campesinos round by the food, and while heading to sit down on the grass near the smaller stage I nearly tripped over Ellen who was peacefully reading.

After a while of sitting, chilling and eating Haribo we decided to head to the Sheep Dip stage to see JoFo before we got sunburnt. Passing the backstage area Alexis did an extremely funny double take upon noticing my JoFo t-shirt. The stage emptied as the previous band finished and the three of us got to the barrier, and shortly afterwards we were joined by Matt, then most of Los Camp standing behind us (bloody stalkers).

JoFo opened with a b-side none of us recognised, then launched into a blistering two-punch of Henning's Favourite and next single Salt, Pepa Spinderella which got the surprisingly large sized crowd going. After that Alexis muttered that they'd better play something slower at which I shouted for "DJs Get Doubts" which was apparently too slow. So they played Eyes Wide Terrified instead, which was an ample replacement. It was a real shame that they only played half an hour as it was one of the best sets I've seen this year.

With an hour to kill before Los Camp we went in search of some food, and I had one of the nicest things I've ever put in my mouth in the Free Range burger that cost me £4. Back at the stage it started to rain so we went back inside the tent, catching the end of Onlookers' set who were really good (despite stealing the riff from La Grange by ZZ Top) and consequently we ended up on the barrier again.

It was quite sweet seeing the group warmup behind the stage, as it included Alexei and Kelly from Johnny Foreigner as well, who stood backstage (along with Junior) to watch the band’s set. The crowd were, from my limited vantage point, really enjoying the set and it showed – Gareth’s brief speech about how he got smacked in the face at T in the Park ended with him commenting that Lounge was much more fun (I don’t know whether he does this at every festival, but singing Sweet Dreams Sweet Cheeks from the middle of the crowd would suggest otherwise). His spoken word piece at the end of This Is How You Spell… was changed so that the “final, fatal livejournal entry” was “turn on the real drums, turn up the real charm” – the final words from Salt Pepper Spinderella, which is Johnny Foreigner’s next single (out September 1st – go buy it). After that song he proceeded to big up the band “did anyone see Johnny Foreigner earlier? Well I’m guessing you did” as he pointed at me wearing my Johnny Foreigner t-shirt.

I will admit that International Tweexcore Underground which followed did disappoint me slightly, which was the only sour note of the weekend. Usually Gareth replaces the whatever in “I’ve never cared about whatever…” with the name of the local football manager. Either he didn’t know who Mark Stimson was, or who the nearest club were, but sadly we didn’t get an onstage reference to Gillingham FC. However the rest of the set was great fun, every song from Hold On Now, Youngster barring Drop It Doe Eyes and And We Exhale… got an airing. You! Me! Dancing! got everybody in the tent dancing (which seems rather obvious now in writing) and Sweet Dreams saw Gareth in the crowd before him and Aleks stood on the monitors to finish.

Katy, Matt and Sian disappeared off to the Cow Shed almost immediately afterwards, as they wanted to catch Mystery Jets. I had no such desire so hung around afterwards, and had a nice chat with Gareth, who (when I mentioned Olli) asked how he was and wished to be remembered to him. After that I moved to Aleks, and in the course of events my dream came up, at which I confessed that it was me. Thankfully she wasn’t that scared and we had a nice chat about Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Night Watch books. She mentioned that Ellen was a bigger Buffy fan and after getting the obligatory “hot redhead musician” picture I moved on to Ellen, whereupon we had a good 20 minute chat about Buffy, Serenity, Angel, Firefly, Nathan Fillion and Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. Done with the squeeing, I wandered off to the Cow Shed via the burger stall and sat at the back, listening to Mystery Jets get their set cut short again (if it happens at Reading then I’m obviously a jinx and should be banned from seeing them again – much like Rob with his fire alarms) and blogging.

One of those moods...

2008-07-01T19:57:00.003+01:00

Today I was in what has been termed my "Thrush" mood - in that, while in said mood I'm an irritating c**t. For example.

Case I:

"Good morning, you're through-"
"Why isn't my broadband working?!?"
"Good morning," I repeated more forcefully, "you're through to James at Sales, can I take your order please?"

The smarter ones of you may realise that I'm in the sales department, and don't generally deal with fixing things. This fella didn't.

"Why isn't my broadband working?!?"
"Solar flares."
"Well, you'd better- what?"
"Solar flares. Violent explosions of electromagnetic radiation from our nearest star, in this case the sun. It's been known to disrupt the flux capacitors at the exchange."
*ding* Dummy mode on.
"Oh...right..."
"It's been proven recently, under Tennant's theorum. It's why there's less bees around lately."
"Ah yes, I've noticed that!"

By this time those waiting for calls (almost everyone in earshot) had started to listen in and conceal giggles.

"Of course, it could just be due to dryness on your mains socket. Have you got something to moisten them with?"
"Er, like what?"
"Well, something protruding, that's generally usually damp?"
"Oh, I could use my tongue!"

It was at this point my colleague with a conscience slapped me round the back of my head and told me to behave.

"Yeah, that might work. I'll tell you what, why don't I get you through to broadband service, they might be able to help?"
"Oh yeah, I was going to go to them first, but I thought sales might be better."

I transferred him. Electrocution's too good for them.

Case II:

I'm riding home, enjoying the sun but hungry. Anxious to get home and have my bangers and mash. I pull up behind someone in a Ford Ka at a roundabout - the car in front of her moves off, there's a clear road ahead but she's not moving. She's staring at her lap. Peeking through her rear window I notice she's texting, so I beep my horn.

She jumps, flings her phone into the passenger seat, moves off and sticks two fingers up at me through her window. Big mistake. I follow, knowing what the Canterbury ring road is like at half five on a weekday evening. The other side of the roundabout she pulls up, the traffic ahead isn't moving, and I decide to have a little chat, so pull up next to her and rap on her window with a coin I happen to keep in my jacket for such an occasion.

Without looking at me she starts to do the window up. I put my gloved hand through to stop her. She goes white. I motioned for her to move the window back down.

"Hello there!"
"H..hi..."
"What was all that about then?"
"What was...what about?"
"You making that offensive gesture out of the window at me. It really hurt my feelings."
"Wha..oh...well, you tooted at me!"
"Have you got a copy of the Highway Code there?"
"Eh?"
"Do you know it that well?"
"N-no..."
"Well, let me tell you what it says. It states that you should only use your horn to alert other road users to your presence."
"O...kay..."
"And I was alerting you to the fact that you were in my FUCKING WAY AND STOPPING ME FROM GETTING MY DINNER! Understand?"
"Yes."
"I suggest you pay more attention to the road in future. Good day."

Mixtape mark II

2008-06-25T20:19:00.003+01:00

Electronic mixtape, hosted here, originally intended for use on the BRS forum. Have a track-by-track that'll be less bitchy than the one about Half-baked Or Nothing.

Robert Duncan - Chosen A slow building instrumental to start the CD with. Grows and grows to sound BIG and inspiring. Was actually taken from the score of the last ever Buffy episode.
Go Home Productions - Rock In Black Toll bell opening, could only be one of two songs - Back in Black, or For Whom The Bell Tolls. But wait, Freddie Mercury? It's a mashup of (principally) Back In Black and We Will Rock You, but also includes Led Zep, Crowded House, Snoop Dogg...
Ash - Envy A nice upbeat jump aroundy song - not one of their most obvious tracks but still great all the same. It's not a song I've heard in a good while until I came to start this CD, and thought "hmmm, that'll fit in well". This CD took me in interesting directions.
Old 97's - Four Leaf Clover My Dad summed this up as "psychobilly country and western". A fast paced song, alternating with boy/girl vocals in a cheerful pop-punk style - why on earth would this be popular with me? Bonus points to those who manage to guess where I first heard it.
Rilo Kiley - Breakin' Up A lovely bridge between the country song and the forthcoming ballads. Also the start of the melancholic break. Bizarrely this song always makes me smile, remembering the Islington Academy gig where Jenny sang several portions of this song to me (especially "here's to all the pretty girls you're gonna meet" with a nod towards Katy).
Easyworld - Tonight If this song doesn't make you sad then you've got a heart of stone. Piano led ballad about missing somebody. I'll let the music do the talking.
Aerosmith - You See Me Crying And the piano intro to this sounds a lot like a reprise of Tonight - another happy accident in track listing. The final track off Aerosmith's best album before they got clean, it's not a side of the band you'd expect, and a thousand times better than that other fucking ballad that they're known for.
The Donnas - Revolver. Picking things up again now. Still not up to full speed, a nice acousticy ballad whose guitars creep up on you. Allison Robertson is one of the most underrated guitarists in my collection. This track creeps along stealithly like a fox before pouncing and taking off. Ok, my metaphors need work.
William Shatner - Common People The first of two covers on the CD. The Shat turns his spoken word epics to Jarvis Cocker's classic, and it works so well. One of the best covers ever - he really gets the hang of the venom hidden so well in the original.
The Dresden Dolls - Sing A boy/girl duo, but better than the white stripes. This song always makes me choke up and get all teary eyed. A slow burn of a song, building up - it's not surprising that it's the final song on the album it's originally from.
Charlotte Hatherley - Bastardo And now, a contrast. Cheerful bubbly pop that always makes me smile, and was actually referenced in my Business Studies presentation about eBay that got me a first. Shame she ruined a promising career with a poor second album (*coughsubwayscough*)
Garbage - Run Baby Run An obvious band for me to use, but not an obvious song. Another cheerful happy song (making amends for the Easyworld track) from the future CEO of Cyberdyne Systems. Lulls the listener into a false sense of security before...
Rammstein - Du Hast INDUSTRIAL TANZ-METALL OVERLOAD. Really, who wouldn't like homophonic plays on words in a scary language growled by someone who, quite frankly, makes Pennywise the Clown look like Ronald McDonald? The sort of song to give my workmates nightmares.
The Osmonds - Crazy Horses People laughed at me for including an Osmonds song. Hopefully they'll listen to this track and not only eat their words, but realise that it actually fits in well with the surrounding songs.
Pink Floyd - Run Like Hell I always listen to this song on my mp3 player walking through Canterbury when it's crowded. Invariably I sing along, and spitting out the lines tends to give me plenty of space. Roger Waters sounds so evil taunting the crowd at the beginning.
Los Campesinos! - We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives Rammstein to Los Camp via the Osmonds and Pink Floyd. I will admit by this point I was running out of effort and threw this in to see what effect it would have. It works well to perk up the listener after the winding down outro of Pink Floyd.
Metallica - Turn The Page The second cover of the CD, a rocked up version of a Bob Seger hit. James Hetfield is a big country fan and does this track justice. I want to find an instrumental version of it and make up lyrics about Ellen Page instead.
Duke Spirit - Red Weather One of the best closing tracks ever. So sleazy, it builds and builds. Live it's even more immense, especially with Toby playing his guitar like a machine gun (something I've tried to replicate when playing One by Metallica on Guitar Hero).

So, there it is. If you've made it this far, I thank you for listening. If you liked any bands and want to know more, let me know.

Grammar lesson

2008-06-24T18:08:00.000+01:00

So, I'm standing outside Morrisons waiting for my family before dinner. As I'm a biker I've parked on the main concourse near the entrance, showing off my newly polished pride and joy.

Enter a low paid trolley boy.

"You can't park that there!"

"Yes I can."

This flummoxed him somewhat. "No you can't!"

"The evidence in front of you would suggest that you're wrong - I can park here, as there's no barrier prohibiting me from doing so. I think what you meant was 'you shouldn't park there'".

"Er...yeah."

"Well then I'd suggest two things. I suggest that in the future you use the correct grammar, and that you feed back to your superiors the lack of a motorcycle parking area. Now go."

The Subways - All Or Nothing

2008-06-19T23:42:00.002+01:00

Strangely for an album in this day and age, The Subways' second effort has yet to leak despite it being less than two weeks until the release date. The staff at Warner Brothers records were very proud of this fact, as apparently only certain magazines had been sent a promotional copy. This meant that the dozen or so fans at the exclusive fan preview (plus those sitting in the courtyard below due to open windows and it being played extremely loud) were one of the very first people to hear All Or Nothing. Thus, as far as I'm aware, this is the first online track by track review of the album (that wasn't from a band member).

Girls and Boys. No doubt you will have already downloaded it from the website. A good intro to the song, nice contrasting vocals on the chorus but not what you want as an opening song on an album. Gets a tad repetitive after a while.
~~Reading Festival~~ Kalifornia. A very summery chorus but nothing new in the two years since it debuted. An absolutely cracking instrumental break undone by a pointless pause before Billy's yell (is such a thing wise given his vocal problems?).
Alright. Like No Goodbyes from the first album, but its heavier scarier older brother. A lovely summer song that'll play well on the radio and draw the casual fans in, and also continuing an opening that's much heavier than you'd expect.
Shake! Shake!. Another old new song (in that it's been around for two years). The bass intro that works so well live seems out of place on the album, but as soon as the song kicks in it's exactly like the live version - and for this band it's a compliment that the live energy's not been polished away.
Move To Newlyn. This song has apparently been floating around since August 2005 (story here) and the opening will sound familiar to anybody who's got Young For Eternity (several of us jokingly started singing "Mary is my best friend..." along to the intro). That said it's a definite grower and a bit of an abrupt change in pace, moving to a very acoustic jaunty song from four heavier tracks. I can see it being released as a single after I Won't Let You Down and Shake Shake.
All Or Nothing. This song is like fabric, in that I found it very difficult to have an opinion about it. I tried to force one through but by the end of the song I wasn't swayed either way. It's a very cheery song and Billy wears his 1990s Britpop influences on his sleeve with this track, and it has the potential to be a grower.
I Won't Let You Down. Back on form. My notes for this simply read "if WB don't release this as a single they're fools and in the wrong business". The two contrasting vocal styles combine superbly in the chorus, it's an absolute monster of a song.
Turnaround. Since hearing this live last May I've been curious as to how it'll sound on record. It's a treat for old-old-school Subways fans, those who have heard the early grungy demos as it's very similar - and being produced by Butch Vig it's very apt! A different style to everything else on the album but no worse for it. Contains the third bass solo on the record - a tradeoff, perhaps, for Charlotte not taking any lead vocals despite her voice improving?
Obsession. The riff for this sounds scarily similar to Shake Shake and the song overall fits in with Alright and Kalifornia - it seems very light and summery, until you listen to the lyrics which are as dark as hell. Potentional to be a grower but left a fair number indifferent to it on first listen.
Strawberry Blonde. From the moment the piano starts the intro you know it's not a normal Subways song. It's this album's Mary - Billy's ode to his current squeeze. Aurally similar to Wonderwall, bonus points are gained for mentioning Firefly (although probably not the TV show). Could possibly make a good single.
Always Tomorrow. A very pacy, summery song that shows how much the band has grown in the intervening years. The fact that I can't remember much else about it doesn't bode well - like Obsession, another take-it-or-leave-it song.
Lostboy. The opening sounds like Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) by Green Day, another 90s influenced track. It's a great song, very catchy and several people were humming it on the way to the pub afterwards. It's a bit of an abrupt end to the album, and I think this will polarise opinion as many people love the big buildup and climax of Somewhere on Young For Eternity. If you can realise that it's not supposed to be a Somewhere mk II you'll realise how good a song it is.

So, that's it. A complete track by track. I approached the album with an open mind and empty bladder, and from the first listen I'll give it 7.8 out of 10. I think that with repeated listens some tracks may grow on me. Due to a wealth of superb albums released this year already I don't think it'll make my top five - contrastingly, had it been released last year it would've made my top three for sure (leaving aside any personal disagreements with band members for both comments).

Karma

2008-06-07T22:55:00.002+01:00

Yesterday was not a good day. I left the house without mp3 player or PDA, and so consequently I spent a very boring two hours by the side of the A2 when my bike blew a hole in the engine. This means I need a new bike, and pretty much buggers up any fun for the next few months. When I finally got to work I found that the person who had agreed to buy my Isle of Wight festival tickets had backed out of the deal, and then I was informed that I was now under investigation for inappropriate call transfers.

Now, I'm a firm believer in karma. I believe that when good things happen, bad things will even them out (and vice versa). Given that all this had happened to me, I was owed a big favour by the universe.

So I gave it a helping hand and kicked a small child in the face.

Zone 1 challenge, May 30th

2008-05-31T20:36:00.003+01:00

End of May is traditionally the time for the annual Zone 1 competition - where tube challengers and potentials gather to race around the 64 underground stations in the Travelcard zone 1 in as quick a time as possible.

A mini challenge was organised for the Thursday evening before so myself, Jack and Olli decided to team up for it as a warmup. It was a designated Random 15 challenge - 15 stations from zones 1 & 2 would be drawn, and each of these would have to be visited at least once. Embankment was the only station revealed in advance as that was the meeting point and we gathered there to receive the other 14 stations. They were spread out over the two zones and bloody difficult - we plotted a route before leaving Embankment, but were beset by so much bad luck we abandoned after two and a half hours having only made it to 7 of the stations. After chasing three trains out of four stations (i.e. we made it to the platform as the train was leaving) we decided luck was not on our side and went to the pub instead.

Friday, after a good night's sleep, we met up with around 40 others at Oxford Circus, where the starting station would be drawn. The rules were run through while Jack and I were using the toilet, but as experienced challengers we didn't need to hear them. Thankfully Olli was still there and up to speed on what was going on. I'd warned him in advance that it was a lot faster paced than the Random 15 - "more running than your average Doctor Who episode" was how I phrased it. "Love the running" was his response and it became a catchphrase for the event between us three. Last year it was myself, Jack and Matt as "Team Subways" - due to circumstances changing (and billy lunn being an arrogant twat) Matt was in another team, so me and Jack ran with Olli under the team name "Frankie Goes To Chorleywood". The station was drawn, and despite my hopes that it would either be Archway (in zone 2/3) or Aldwych (closed since 1992) it turned out to be the bustling metropolis that is King's Cross St Pancras. Off we sodded there.

On the train up a route was rapidly drawn up, and then redrawn when we realised we'd missed off Goodge Street. I sought clarification as to one of the rules, which stated that you didn't need to leave on the first train leaving the station at 1pm - you could wait for the first one on your desired line. I used this to get a Hammersmith and City line train to Paddington - they're rarer than hen's teeth and by doing this at the start it meant we wouldn't be relying on getting one later in the route (ha!). I wasn't alone in doing this, as we had a fair few others getting on the train with us - including last year's winner John Stark. We made the mistake of chasing him through Paddington last year without realising he runs for fun, whereas we don't even run for food. He was handicapped this year by running with someone else, thus slowing him down. On arrival at Paddington I surprised everyone, not least myself, by leading the pack through the barriers and onto the mainline station platforms. Haring down platform 8 I realised once again that getting into shape would have been a wise idea, and was overtaken by Andi and Olli. At the barriers to the Bakerloo line platforms all our paper travelcards failed and we had to be let through the gate by the assistant - would we need this every time we breached the gateline?

Cunningly, when we got on the Bakerloo line train (which arrived at the platform at the same time that we did) we were going to the end of the line, so could sit and rest for a bit. By Oxford Circus we'd recovered and were raring to go again - at Elephant & Castle we shot off the train, and up to the Northern line platforms (far far shorter than I expected) to find a minute wait and an amused chap who asked if we were running round the entire Underground or something. "Something like that" we replied to his chuckle and a good luck. Jumping on the train we didn't bother sitting down, as we were only going two stops, and sprinted off at London Bridge to the Jubilee line - a long journey involving escalators I thought, but clever observation of the signs stopped Olli sprinting up a pair as I bellowed "LEFT!" to turn down to the Jubilee line corridor and make it to another 30 second wait for a train. Another two stops and to Waterloo, and the first escalator run (and second shortly after) which really, really kills the legs. Stumbling to find a Vauxhall train we jumped on one, and took advantage of the on train toilet as we didn't know when would be the next opportunity. A helpful South West Trains conductor told us the best place to get out for the exit and we jumped out, grateful that the platform was nearest the Underground barriers which handily were also open. Jumping down the steps to the underpass I stumbled but didn't fall and ran around slow walking commuters, high-fiving a fellow competitor on the way up to the trains.

We had a minor wait for a Victoria line train up to Euston - it turned out to be roastingly hot which didn't help our already damp clothes - and ran up more bloody escalators (love the running) to the City branch of the Northern line. A three minute wait here was annoying, but we had another intruiged passenger on the train who wanted to know what we were up to and also wished us luck. Leaving Moorgate we had nobody to run past until practically the Circle line platforms - a two minute wait here, then we got on a Hammersmith and City line train ("ha," we joked, "we won't need another today!") back up to King's Cross. This section of the tube is rare in zone 1 as it's almost open air - I took the opportunity to reply to Amie's text before we switched to the Piccadilly line. Running down six steps to the ticket hall I would've leapt onto and slid down the central bannister if there wasn't a whacking great information board at the bottom of it - probably a good thing as I could see myself coming a cropper and making a tit out of myself again. There was a train in so we leapt on it, and moved up to the right carriage at Russell Square.

Way back in November we went southbound on the Piccadilly line to Gloucester Road. Owing to an administrative cockup we got the end of the train wrong and had to run like the clappers down the platform to get the lifts - one of the many setbacks that day. Remembering that, I said we should sit at the front of the train, and recounted the above story with an air of smugness about me. Arriving in to Gloucester Road we looked out of the windows to see the Way Out signs all pointing towards the back of the train. Cillit Bang! Leaping out the train we raced down the platforms, and as I was running along the yellow line it meant that anyone else getting off would be in my way - like the Asian girl in carriage four who stepped out in front of me, causing me to suddenly change direction by 90 degrees (and I'm glad I was wearing newer trainers than the 7 year old pair I had on last year, else it would've been painful) to avoid her. We got to the lifts to find a queue, and somewhat rudely snuck our way to the front to get in the lift first. This backfired on us when we reached the surface to find the exit was the same pair of doors we came into the lift in (tube station lifts have doors both sides) and had to struggle through everyone to reach the sub-surface platforms. By the time we were there a District train to Upminster (our ideal connection) had closed its doors and was departing. Bad karma.

Luckily there was a Circle line train along one minute later, so I had time to take a picture of the panda, but it meant that we'd be doing the Aldgate run the wrong way round - from Aldgate to Aldgate East - and we'd be relying on a Hammersmith and City train there. By this time we'd passed the two hour mark and were looking shaky for a sub 3-hour time. At Aldgate we ran up the many steps to street level (love the running) and out, along the street. We hit a bit of a snag with the A1211 being in the way, but luckily found a subway and ran along it, showing it the proper courtesy and respect. Crossing two minor roads and dodging roadworks we got to Aldgate East, passing Matt who was going the other way, to find nothing on the boards. Cillit bang! A quick rewrite was in order, and we got a District train back to Tower Hill, where we crossed to get on the Circle line (only 94 seconds spent there) and visit Aldgate that way.

(An aside - rules state that a station is only visited if you enter or leave it via a London Underground train. Running back to Aldgate was not therefore an option - not least because it would've killed us.)

Through Aldgate we leapt out at Liverpool Street to reach the Central line platforms at about the same time as a Central line train, and jumped on ready to get to my favourite station (not), Tottenham Court Road. The thing about TCR is that the Central line platforms are so bloody far away from anything, and we ran dodging people to the Northern line platforms where a northbound train was waiting. A bit of luck for the Goodge Street doubleback, which ran out when we pulled in to see a southbound train leaving. 3 minutes til the next one, and the clichèd picture at Goodge Street taken. Back at Tottenham Court Road we had a two minute wait for a Central line train, which took us to Queensway and the final run of the day. Up the road, simple enough, except for one prat who jumped out on us and shouted "no running in the halls!" Had he jumped out a little bit further, I would've caught him a glancing blow on the jaw with my left shoulder, but I had to settle for smacking my wrist on a parking meter instead. At Bayswater the next train was a Circle line so we jumped on, checking the board for a District train following us. We had only three stations left, but a sub 3-hour time was out of the question - we wanted to settle for beating 3 hours 15 minutes.

The minutes ticked away, and we jumped off at High Street Kensington to a four minute wait and time ticking away. Tempted by the Oreo McFlurry adverts we pondered the nearest McDonalds, before remembering we went in one by Earl's Court station the previous night. The train finally arrived, and we reached Earl's Court to a final time of 3:16:23. After getting our McFlurries and posing with the tardis outside, we made our way to the pub (being one of the last to arrive) handed in our time and had a much deserved bottle of cider. The presentation began, and we won best team name (I was proud, especially as I've been sitting on that for months) and came an honourable 12th place out of 21. We were 10 minutes behind second, and I reckon that if we hadn't been rude in the lifts at Gloucester Road we would've had a much higher finish. Still, thoroughly enjoyed the day, as did Olli who can't wait for next year!

Blood Red Shoes - May 28th, London Forum

2008-05-31T20:04:00.003+01:00

Way back when this gig was announced, Dana from my forum announced she'd be there too. Given that I don't want my board split into two factions (ex-Subways boardies and non-ex-Subways boardies) I thought I'd go and meet her; that she's not unattractive and is easy to talk to is merely a bonus. Katy came with me, and as Jack is a huge Maximo Park fan he bought a ticket and came too. It was shortly after 3 on a damp day that we arrived to see Jack was already quite friendly with the assorted hardcore fans already queuing, including a very ill Dana.

It was then that we realised a small flaw in my social plan - we were there only to see Dana, but she was there to see everyone, including the Maximo geeks. As such we were left kicking our heels for a bit (or would have been if we weren't sitting down) so switched to the old standby in such situations - drink! As me and Jack were getting drunker we got louder and bounced comments off each other, making others laugh and including them in the conversation. This included Charleh, who apparently we met at the LC! gig in Portsmouth, and her friend whose name I won't even attempt to type because it'll be wrong.

She was fitting in well, not least because she appeared to be Jack's female clone, despite being interested in the soft and squishy gender. Much like Jack is, thinking about it. I managed to marry Jack to both Dana and Charleh (internet ordaining is a wonderful thing) and I don't remember an awful lot else. I should really have done this writeup on Thursday lunchtime. I do recall drunkenly asking a tall guy in a grey suit where to go for a quick slash - this turned out to be the lead singer from Mystery Jets, who were also supporting - and two doors down I bumped into a cute girl with short blonde hair who I recognised (thankfully not the psychotic tory) but wasn't sure where from.

Inside the gig we got down the front, owing to being first in the queue, and witnessed an utterly bland set from Pete and the Pirates. There were too many Petes and not enough Pirates, so I amused myself by shouting out "yarrrrr!" and "shiver me timbers!" much too often. BRS were up next, and ran through a similar set to the previous tour (different banter though). Due to time running short they missed the penultimate song which I'm grateful for - the gig was a charity gig and the song they dropped was Say Something Say Anything. I don't think that I could've kept my composure.

After their set was finished I was ready to go home but Katy wanted to see Mystery Jets, so we stayed. Jack and Charleh bonded even further, becoming one, and as the band came on I realised that the lead singer had directed me for my urination earlier. Their set was enjoyable, and when they brought out a guest for what turned out to be the last song of their set I realised that the short blonde was Laura Marling, which was a turnup for the books.

Peace in our train

2008-05-29T14:39:00.001+01:00

I've inadvertantly managed to get myself peace and quiet on a train journey, and disgust an entire carriage of people.

Sat here quietly listening to Pink Floyd (my route into London takes me round the base of Battersea Power Station) I was rudely interrupted at Gillingham when a fairly well to do mother with her two little "princesses" got on and sat on the table behind me. Now, the one thing that little girls do that I can't stand (apart from playing the recorder-if they'd started doing that this blog would involve piano wire) is squeal. And boy, did this pair squeal. Getting pissed off with this I muttered to myself "for the love of Joss, if they don't shut up I'll unleash the paedophiles".

Now, I don't know about your good self, but when I'm listening to my music, I tend to speak (and sing) louder than normal. Unfortunately they chose that moment to pause to draw breath.

"What?!? How dare you say that? Come on Eileen and Dexy, we're not sitting anywhere near this...filth!"

Temporarily bemused as to why the braying sheep had suddenly turned into a Kentish harridan, I didn't realise that I was talking out loud until I turned off my music to silence from everyone else. Never one to miss a trick I said "well, at least we'll get some peace, eh?" before burying my face in my paper.

Writeup of BRS, lesbians, tube challenges and emo marches to come on Saturday night after Doctor Who, I'm writing this on my pda and my thumbs hurt.

The Subways

2008-05-14T21:22:00.002+01:00

Hello. I expect you're wondering why this post has suddenly appeared, given that I'm not online, I'm actually up in London. Well, I'm testing the "post in the future" feature on Blogger, and saving myself some effort by writing up the gig now.

Yes, I know I'm actually at the gig at the moment. But it's pretty obvious what the write up is going to be, isn't it? Blah blah blah acoustic gig blah blah blah different blah blah blah new stuff is average blah blah blah probably sounds better on record blah blah blah courtesy and respect.

Johnny Foreigner, King's College

2008-05-14T13:09:00.003+01:00

So, up to London, and a half day off work so I can do some reconnaissence for the upcoming zone 1 challenge.

Well, in theory anyway.

I'd planned a route checking out the interchanges at Vauxhall, Waterloo, London Bridge, Elephant & Castle, Paddington, King's Cross, Moorgate and Liverpool Street stations. The first up was Vauxhall, running (nay, sprinting) from the Victoria line platforms (making note that the second set of doors in the carriage would have been a better choice) up the escalators, through the pedestrian subway, up the stairs to the surface level, through the barriers at the mainline station, underneath all 8 lines to the far platform, and up the stairs to the platform. As I ascended this final part I passed someone rushing to get a train; I muttered "race you" to her not expecting her to actually be competitive. I made it to the platform just ahead of her, taking 1 minute and 27 seconds to do platform to platform, but my left leg gave out and I flopped onto the train most ungainly.

At Waterloo I was intending to time the run from train to Jubilee line platforms, but I quickly altered my plan and sat with a bottle of water against the statue of that painter fellow, in front of the old Eurostar platforms. Sitting there, watching the world go by, admiring the sun glinting off the Victory arch, I decided that on such a nice sunny day the last thing I wanted to do was spend it underground. Firing up Google Maps on my BT ToGo Phone (plug) I decided to go for a wander in the general direction of the King's College box office to pick up my Johnny Foreigner ticket.

Walking through Shell House and the Jubilee gardens, passing the London Eye I remembered days of yore where my family would come up to London for the Lord Mayor's Show, stay for the fireworks on the Thames in the evening and stand on the South Bank watching them, listening to the final scores on Radio 5 Live as it was normally taking place on F.A Cup first round day. This reminded me of the huge great second hand book sale that was usually found underneath Waterloo Bridge and so I headed off to investigate. Passing the Royal Festival Hall and Hayward Gallery (described on Wikipedia as "a good example of Brutalist architecture" - if it was a women, even after ten pints you'd still say no) I walked down by the river enjoying my ice cream cone to the book sale.

It was rather disappointing, actually, and I saved my money for the large Oxfam charity bookshop in Canterbury. My enjoyment was partly spoiled by the large amounts of loud youths enjoying the sunshine and being rambunctuous - I cycled through my weapon supply looking for a melee weapon such as a flamethrower or gatling gun before realising that this was actually real life and not Grand Theft Auto, so left them to it and walked across Waterloo Bridge (avoiding foreign men with umbrellas). I found, disappointingly, that I still had two hours to kill before the box office opened so I decided to have dinner at the Walkabout pub enveloping Temple station. As I'd be dining alone I thought a magazine might be a wise idea (else I'd be really bored) and headed off to Oxford Street to see if there were any decent imported magazines in stock.

After a roasting hot Bakerloo line journey (made bearable only by the slightly chestier Ellen Page lookalike sat next to me) I made it to an Oxford Street that was noticably quieter than usual. Wondering if I'd gone deaf (and why there was no traffic about) I walked towards Borders to find a large area cordoned off by the police. As I'd stayed round Katy's the night before I hadn't read the morning paper so grabbed a free paper off a vendor who was clearly relishing the old "extra, extra" cliche of yore - "get today's London paper, read all about what happened here in this very spot yesterday!" - and I found out about the stabbing. I ventured off along the pavement on the other side of the road, with the open shops, to see if HMV could give me something to read. Popping in to H&M to see if they had any Batman t-shirts, I found that the first floor windows (almost opposite the fateful McDonalds) was crammed full of people taking pictures of the scene. Outside one woman was videotaping it and providing a commentary. Disgusted with humanity I gave up and went back to get some dinner, grabbing the other freesheet on the way.

Possibly because it's an Australian pub and therefore catering to ex-pats, it was actually warmer inside the pub than outside. I finished my unappetising burger and went and sat on a bench facing the Thames outside. Due to its position overlooking the river and its age the wooden slats had plenty of give in them; this made them rather comfortable and I was reluctant to leave. Having finished the freesheets I once again took to caning the hell out of the unlimited bandwidth on my ToGo phone (another plug), keeping up to date on my board and poking people back on Facebook. Getting bored of this and realising that I'd want to buy a t-shirt to replace the one I left on the train after the last JoFo gig, I headed off in search of a cash point. I eventually found one, outside City Thameslink station (the only railway station in Zone 1 I've never been into - quite why I didn't break this duck yesterday I honestly don't know).

Back at the venue and I had a pleasent surprise when I found out that JoFo were supporting, not headlining, which meant I'd get an early night. The first band on were from Norway and called The Lionheart Brothers - I've deliberately not linked to their MySpace as the recordings don't do them justice. Five blokes, loud guitars, a very proggy sound. It drew me away from the seats where I was sat watching the sun set over Waterloo (I don't need to spell out every single song reference for you, do I?) and I thoroughly enjoyed them. JoFo didn't let me down either. Despite the overabundance of dry ice making it hard to see Junior on drums, the band got everyone dancing with a cracking opening of Champagne Girls I Have Known and The End (And Everything After). The swirling mist, harsh lighting and crap camera made it difficult to get any decent pictures so I just settled for dancing (well, trying to) and enjoying the set. After Eyes Wide Terrified and a new song that had been written while on the road, Alexis announced "this next song is called Cranes and Cranes and Cranes and if we see you singing along then we know you've downloaded the album and we hate you" - cue laughter and a shout of "what if we downloaded the London Calling set?".

They finished up with Sofacore, a b-side to Eyes Wide Terrified which has Burlesque in the title, and Yr All Just Jealous. I exchanged a few words with Kelly as I bought another JoFo tee and left, heading back to Victoria. As I walked down the stairs at Temple I saw a train waiting on the platform; hearing the doors closing chime I ran down the stairs and threw myself into an empty carriage, whacking my shoulder on the cental pole (damn District line stock) and feeling the door close behind my boot. Relived to have made the train I realised I was subsequently at the wrong end for the exit at Victoria and jumped out at Embankment to dash along the platform to the right door.

I made my train at Victoria with enough time to get some food and the current issue of Classic Rock, and I sat down at a table and started relaxing. As the train filled up someone sat diagonally opposite me, and I made room for him. Then a city gent took the seat next to me, moved my magazine out the way so he could read his broadsheet, and shoved my jacket (of which a small part of the sleeve was in the gap between the seats, the rest tucked behind me) up out the way so he could move the seating arm down. This display of rudeness pissed me off, especially when he harumphed (yes, he actually made that noise) when I got a text from Dana and my phone wooped, in a Zoidberg fashion. So I fought back, with the low level annoyance only a Tong can master. I snicked at everything in Classic Rock (even the obituaries) and, inspired by the Velvet Revolver cover story, decided to listen to Appetite for Destruction on my mp3 player. Loudly. By the time he left at Gillingham he was glaring evilly at me, and the other fellows around me laughed when I turned my music off, put my phone on silent and settled down to enjoy myself.

And and and, I managed to remember my t-shirt this time, so will be resplendent in it at tonight's gig.

Why I rather like my job

2008-05-09T19:47:00.005+01:00

Last Thursday we had an advisor forum, which was basically one advisor from each team met with T (the centre manager who looks like Maggie Gyllenhaal but with lighter hair - actually, I could end this blog post here and it would justify the title) to raise any issues they have. I was nominated by my team as I'm not one to shy away from complaining about issues. I raised the point that D seems to be the go-to guy for all advisors whenever they have an easily solvable query, or any escalations which should really go to their own manager in the first instance. She told me to get our team to start challenging other advisors, asking them why they're coming to Dejorn and not their own manager.

So we've been doing it all week, and it's working well. However. There's one fat bint who kept coming over. On Wednesday I saw her walk past another manager, exchange brief conversation and then come to D. I stood between her and my manager and called her on it, asked her what the other managers said when she asked them first. She replied that she hadn't seen any others, and I told her that I'd seen her talking to Amanda on her way over. I pointed out that she was cutting into our investment time with her manager and that she should leave him alone. She mumbled something and went. I learned today that she then raised a complaint to Manpower (the agency that the new employees work for - stupidly, as I'm with the company and have been for nearly a year) about my rudeness which was then passed to T, who fully defended my actions - she knows I'm not a rude person, and I'm looking out for my team as that fat bitch has been cutting in to our investment time.

Also in this complaint the young girl in question added "I wasn't polite to him myself, I admit I told him to fuck off" which I didn't hear, but T is now looking to get rid of her as she "doesn't want people like that in her call centre". Double win! I was pleased that I had the full backing of my team and centre managers, but slightly disappointed that they're punishing her - it's been ages since I waged a low-level war of annoyance against someone and I was really, really looking forward to it!

EDIT: Removed a potentially job-losing word after one of the people mentioned above came across this blog

A letter to London

2008-05-02T23:57:00.002+01:00

Good evening, London.

I thought it time we had a little talk. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...I suppose you're wondering why I've called you here this evening. Well, you see, I'm not entirely satisfied with your performance lately...I'm afraid your work's been slipping and...and well, I'm afraid we've been thinking about letting you go. Oh, I know, I know. You've been with the company a long time now. Almost...let me see. Almost ten thousand years! My word, doesn't time fly? It seems like only yesterday...I remember the day you commenced your employment, swinging down from the trees, fresh-faced and nervous, a bone clasped in your bristling fist..."Where do I start, sir?" You asked, plaintively. I recalled my exact words: "There's a pile of dinosaur eggs over there, youngster," I said, smiling paternally all the while. "Get sucking."

Well, we've certainly come a long way since then, haven't we? And yes, yes you're right, in all that time you haven't missed a day. Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Also, please don't think I've forgotten about your outstanding service record, or about all of the invaluable contributions that you've made to the company...Fire, the wheel, agriculture..It's an impressive list, old-timer. A jolly impressive list. Don't get me wrong. But...well, to be frank, we've had our problems too. There's no getting away from it. Do you know what I think alot of it stems from? I'll tell you...It's your basic unwillingness to get on in the company. You don't seem to want to face up to any real responibility. To be your own boss. Lord knows you've been given plenty of opportunities... We've offered you promotion time and time again, and each time you've turned us down. "I couldn't handle the work, Guv'Nor," You wheedled. "I know my place." To be frank, you're not trying are you? You see, you've been standing still for far too long, and its starting to show in your work.

Really, its not good enough, is it? And its no good blaming the drop in work standards on and management either...though to be sure, the management is very bad. In fact, let us not mince words...The Management is terrible! We've had a string of embezzelers, frauds, liars, and lunatics making a string of catastrophic decisions. This is plain fact. But who elected them? It was you! You who elected these people! You who gave them the power to make your decisions for you! You have encouraged these malicious incompetents, who have made your working life a shambles. You have accepted without question their senseless orders. You have allowed them to fill your workspace with dangerous and unproven machines. You could have stopped them. All you had to say was "No." You have no spine. You have no pride. You are no longer an asset to the company.

Any parallels between the Conservative government and the fascist Norsefire from V for Vendetta are purely coincidental. Honest.

Band t-shirts

2008-05-02T13:10:00.005+01:00

Today I had my bi-annual wardrobe clear out, rotating the drab black band t-shirts for my brighter purple/red/yellow ones in time for the nicer weather, and as usual I've got a few that I don't wear any more, haven't worn for a year and can't bear the shame of wearing them at Reading. Rather than go through the hassle of putting them on eBay I thought I'd give you lot the chance to lay a claim. I'm not asking for any money for them (a drink would be nice but not mandatory) and I'll pay for postage myself. They're clean and in fairly good nick, some worn more than others. I'm quite hoping that not all of the Subways ones go as I like the idea of showing courtesy and respect by cleaning my bike with one or two.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/eldiego14/t-shirts/DSC00812.jpg

Young for Eternity tour, Autumn 2005. It's a large mens size, and the print shows obvious signs of wear. On the back it lists the full tour dates from September to November (of which I saw 6).

~~http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/eldiego14/t-shirts/DSC00813.jpg~~

First Subways tee I ever bought. Old-school logo. It claims it's a large but I think it's a girls tee because it's extremely small and tight on me. First one claimed.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/eldiego14/t-shirts/DSC00814.jpg

Large mens size. Second logo. Print is cracked on the T, H and S.

~~http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/eldiego14/t-shirts/DSC00815.jpg~~

Silloheute design for the summer 2006 gigs. Navy blue and small. Has the bands logo on the nape of the neck on reverse. Also claimed.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/eldiego14/t-shirts/DSC00816.jpg

It's a darker green than the picture suggests. Features a faded drum picture on the front and again the logo on the nape at the back. Another small tee.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/eldiego14/t-shirts/DSC00817.jpg

Features the Young For Eternity tree, and again the logo on the back. Yet another small tee.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/eldiego14/t-shirts/DSC00824.jpg

Span and Pretty Girls Make Graves. Span is XL, PGMG is ~~Medium~~ gone.

There's also two Auf der Maur t-shirts that are going spare, but I've got a few people who are first in line for those. If they don't want them I'll list them later.

If you want one then email, PM me on any boards we're both on, Facebook me, text me, send a carrier pigeon, phone 0800 800 150, choose option 2, option 2 again then option 1 and hope and pray the odds are with you, comment me here...oh, use your brain.

Election Night Special

2008-05-01T20:37:00.000+01:00

The candidates and their vote totals:

Leicester:

* Arthur J. Smith (SENSIBLE) - 30,612
* Jethro Q. Walrustitty (SILLY) - 32,108

Luton:

* Alan Jones (SENSIBLE) - 9,112
* Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olé-Biscuitbarrel (SILLY) - 12,441
* Kevin Phillips-Bong (SLIGHTLY SILLY) - 0 (nought)

Harpenden:

* Mr Elsie ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzOOP (SILLY) - 26,317
* James Walker (SENSIBLE) - 26,318
* Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (sound effect of horse whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (blows whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then 'whoop') Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat Gilbert (sings) 'We'll keep a welcome in the' (three shots, stops singing) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkin (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) 'Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head' Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat 'Don't Sleep In The Subway' Barton Mainwaring (hoot, 'whoop') Smith (VERY SILLY) - 2

Other results:

* Engelbert Humperdinck gains Barrow in Furness from Ann Haydon-Jones and her husband Pip.
* Mary Whitehouse taking Umbrage, which the presenter claims will cause a bit of trouble.
* Not a result as such, but Arthur Negus holds Bristols.
* Wales isn't swinging at all; no surprises there.

With grave apologies to the Monty Python team.

Colleagues and Customers

2008-04-28T19:05:00.002+01:00

"Hey, is there a phone called Aqua?"
*searches on intranet*
"Yup, it's quite nice too."
"Oh good, what's it called?"
"....Aqua."

I sometimes wonder if I temporarily black out at work, because it feels like I've turned over two pages at once.

Then, later, I had a fellow phone up wanting to do a homemove - move his account to the new property. He interrupted my opening speil and ordered me not to put him on hold or transfer him elsewhere which pissed me off immediately, but I'm a professional (mostly) so gave him one more chance.
"Ok sure no problem sir, may I have your account number please?"
"I don't have my account number. Your colleague earlier found my details through searching for my phone number, use that."
"That may have been alright for just checking details, but to change anything on an account I would need your account number."

We're really hot on customer validation at the moment with one wrong move resulting in a disciplinary. You can generally bend the rules in exceptional circumstances, but I wasn't going to budge for this prick. We carried on to-ing and fro-ing, with him trying to bully me into relenting (fat chance!) and calling me obstructive. By this time several of my colleagues had muted their customers and were listening in. Then came the crunch:
"Look, you don't wanna mess with me sonny. I know people who are scary you know!"
"You can't threaten me into bending the rules. I'm not losing my job over this."
"You'd better watch your back - I know people who ride motorbikes!"
The fool.
"Sir, I am a person who rides a motorbike, and you know what? SO'S MY MOTHER!"
At which he hung up. My mum's not that scary, honest.

Why I'll Be In A Bad Mood After 2:30pm Today

2008-04-26T10:34:00.004+01:00

I'm a Gillingham fan.

(And yes, it does feel like I've stood up at a meeting for Pillocks Anonymous and admitted my reason for being there.)

I have been for a good ten years, and if you'll cast your eye up to your address bar and note the first part of the URL you'll see my normal username. It's a contraction of "James The Gillingham Fan" caused by a limited amount of space on the Harry message board back in 2003. I regularly check the scores if the matches are in progress; at work on a Saturday I've had the BBC vidiprinter up to update me with the text commentary. Many a time I've had to put a customer on hold briefly in order to shout with joy/swear at the screen.

This season it's mostly been the latter. We're on our third manager this year. He's bought in a fair few players from non-league; some of whom have been successful, most of whom haven't. He's replaced the dross left under the old regime with cheaper, more enthusiastic dross. They've tried hard, bless 'em, but with two games to go we still find ourselves 3 points behind safety, sat currently in a position which, if we stay here, will see us playing in a lower league next year.

(A quick aside - it's three points if you win a game, one point if you draw, and nothing for a loss - but you knew that already.)

Quite simply in today's game a win is vital. Lose and we're screwed - even a draw for Cheltenham later today will see us down. A draw will postpone the misery for another week but as our final game is against Leeds, a side who would have won the league were it not for a points deduction at the start of the season, I can't see us getting anything from it. It's our last home game of the season today, and it's kicking off at 12:30pm on the advice of the local police, as the visitors are our old chums from Swindon.

In the late 1970s the Gillingham side was actually rather good. In the same league as they are now, but gunning for promotion to the next league above, a place Gillingham had never gone (and won't do until 2000, when Andy Thomson scored a neat diving header at Wembley three minutes from time to win the playoff final) but a place we'd quite like to go to. Enter Swindon. A report of the home game that year written from a Gills perspective can be found here; similarly the away game report is here. It left a bad taste in the mouth of Gills fans and Swindon are regularly referred to in none too kind words on the Gillingham message board.

We played them again in the late 1980s, with much the same result - them denying us promotion to the promised land. After that we went our separate ways; they always seemed to be a league or two above us, and when we finally achieved promotion in 2000 to what is now the Championship, it was that year that they dropped out of that league, passing us on the way up. (The game at Wembley was won in part by two players we'd bought from Swindon on January 1st that year - oh, we did chortle). Sadly our run in the Championship didn't last, and the start of the 2005/2006 season we found ourselves in this league, in the same league as Swindon for the first time in nearly 20 years. In the run up to the January 14th home game there was much posturing from the keyboard warriors on various message boards - neanderthalic old men looking to prove they still had it by harking back to the "glory days" of hooliganism. Sensibly myself and my Dad were sat in the Town End, near the away support - to give them their due, the knuckle dragging portion of the Swindon fans (and it was by no means the majority) thought rightly against winding up the two bikers. The Gills won that game 3-0, and the yobs departed - off with their tails between their legs, we thought.

Not quite. To cut a blog post that is already getting out of hand short, there were pitched battles all down the roads from the ground to the station, with both groups of fans having yobs who knew nothing better joining in. Being perched on the back of a Suzuki Bandit while all this was going on around us was not my idea of a fun time - a swift escape down a footpath saw us leave this behind, but I was never more glad to have a crash helmet on than that night!

They went down that year, and so last season we were free of them - until they won promotion, and this year shared our league with us again. We played them early in the season at their place, losing 5-0 in a game that saw the end of Jepson's reign as manager. He's since been replaced by Iffy Onuora, who took Swindon down in 2006 and was a tad more successful here, but was only a caretaker and was replaced himself by Mark Stimson, the present incumbent who will be doing his utmost to get us a win today. Last Saturday we drew to a late goal away - Swindon, by contrast, hammered Port Vale 6-0. We need to win today in a game we're likely to lose. Doesn't bode well, does it?

If you want to follow the game, the BBC text commentary that I've been following all season is available here. Kickoff is at 12:30pm. I'd better get going really.

Subconscious

2008-04-25T14:19:00.003+01:00

It's rather worrying when you dream that Alex Berditchevskaia (vocalist/keyboardist in Los Campesinos!) is a Grand Sorceress helping you defend a Metro station from a vampire attack.

This may or may not be connected to me spending last night listening to the Los Camp album, and then reading the third book in the Night Watch trilogy.

Advice for today

2008-04-24T21:31:00.000+01:00

Be careful. Just, generally.

And if you're wearing sunglasses indoors, you're a knob. Even if you're Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Confused? Listen.

Musings

2008-04-23T23:00:00.001+01:00

I think the guy who does the training slides at work is a sci-fi fan. The sample address is 42 Magrathea Crescent, and the sample guy's birthday is 5th November 1955.

Album of 2008

2008-04-22T01:20:00.003+01:00

It's April. We are but a third of the way through the year, and already my shortlist for album of the year (not, traditionally, decided until the end) has got seven albums in it. To compare, last year I only made a top five with the inclusion of a re-released Led Zeppelin live album, Garbage's Greatest Hits and Avril Lavigne.

This year the pace was set by The Duke Spirit, roaring back with Neptune, closely followed by Jo Whiley favourites Goldfrapp (which means at work I have one decent song to listen to). These two were followed by no less illustrious company in Blood Red Shoes, Los Campesinos!, Be Your Own PET!, Operator Please, and the current album to please my ears, Johnny Foreigner. I can quite easily see myself taking ages to compose a top ten at the end of the year, especially as Shirley Manson's solo album is apparently finished (but Warners are refusing to release it).

Of course, The Subways album will be treated with the respect and courtesy it's earnt (i.e. I'll treat it the same as the rest and download it first to see if it's worth spending money on, especially after getting moaned at for not toe-ing the line and agreeing that the Subways were the best live show since the crucifixion) , and No Virginia by the Dresden Dolls may be a late outsider...plus rumours abound of new albums from Rammstein, Aerosmith, AC/DC and Jenny Lewis...I'm really, really excited!

Sub Red Shoes

2008-04-11T14:53:00.004+01:00

(Yes, the god awful puns in my blog titles are back.)

Another tour, another journey, although this time to the slightly nearer city of London. After I didn't make Saturday's BRS gig in Tonbridge Wells owing to my bike dying, and the last two gigs (Subways in Bristol and Be Your Own PET in London) being somewhat underwhelming, I had high hopes for this one, but first we had to get there.

During a lovely journey through the Kent countryside (gazing at sheep, reading the paper and listening to a dumb American woman bleat on about how the world is shit) I got several texts from people asking what the plans were. These quickly evolved like an organic primordial soup but the upshot is I ended up waiting at Victoria for 45 minutes (as detailed below) before me and Katy set the controls for the heart of Uxbridge and went up to meet Jack. Rocketing up the Piccadilly line, at Hammersmith we saw the evidence of someone who clearly didn't mind the gap and wasted perfectly good wine gums. After a change at Acton Town (and for reasons I'll explain later, I can't help but say "bon voyage" whenever someone mentions that station) we made it to Uxbridge and walked to Jack's to dump our stuff. Time was pressing on and our original plan of visiting St Helier station to drink St Helier cider sadly fell by the wayside. Rosie and Olli were marooned in London due to the delay and so, sitting on the train in Uxbridge station, we let them know we were just about ready to depart as the next Met line train pulled in, and gave them an eta of fourty minutes. Two minutes later we got a reply saying "you were on the train that just left, weren't you" and we got off further down the line to meet them on the following train.

We joined them on the train and changed the plans once again, deciding to head straight to Archway for the Blood Red Shoes instore. On the train we had more of the anniversary cake (and had fun wiping chocolate sauce on people, an act that caused Rosie and Olli to not talk to each other for ten whole minutes - god knows how they coped) but at King's Cross when we changed they made up and decided to keep talking. On the Northern line to Archway there's a distinct gap in my memory, so either nothing happened of note or I'm old. At Archway we went to find a pub to sit in, but failing to find one that was suitable we settled on the old fallback of "get stuff from Sainsbury's and find a park to sit in". On our search for a park we found a railway station and sat there instead. For some reason we got odd looks sitting eating cheese on the westbound platform of an overground station in the sunshine, but I took a moment to reflect on it and realised you can't beat silly things like that with close friends - the happiest days of our lives.

Walking back to Puregroove we stopped in along the way and bought presents for the band, and I was delighted when there were more people at the signing that were on the board than non members! We availed ourself of free posters and stickers (which lead to Rosie and Katy sticking stickers on each other's breasts - this was a popular activity to watch) and I bought my copy of the album on vinyl even though it's not out until Monday (and I'm dreading checking my balance online after the last few days). Then, to our dismay but not surprise, the Puregroove fella announced to the gathered people (and there was around 20 people there) that due to time constraints the band wouldn't be able to make it to the signing, and had promised us free stuff or a guestlist spot in compensation. How valid this offer is I'm not sure, as we later found out that Puregroove had told Steven that there were 100 people there in an attempt to guilt him into coming, an act which means that the Box of Secrets LP is the last time I'll buy anything from them for the forseeable future, and Banquet Records of Kingston will be getting my money instead.

Back at Archway we jumped on the Northern line, getting off at Tufnell Park when Rob pointed out that this train was going down the wrong branch for Embankment. Joining Matt, Olli and Rosie in the following train we drank and were merry all the way to Embankment. Rather than change and get the tube to Temple, we decided to walk along by the river, especially as a fair number of us needed the toilet. (I will point out that there were public conveniences just outside the station, we didn't piss in the Thames.) Once again failing to find a decent pub we went straight into the venue, with Matt avoiding sorrow by finding someone to pay money to for a ticket. King's College is a new venue for me, and it was an odd experience getting a lift to the venue - it felt like going to the great gig in the sky! Set openers An Emergency weren't to our tastes so we went and sat down and had cake while they were on.

After they'd finished we went for a wander and bumped into Steven, who was happy to see us (especially Katy with her stickers) and most apologetic about pulling out of the instore. I nipped off to find Laura and give her the jaffa cakes we'd bought her, not recognising her without makeup on. "Hey you" she said, and I gave her the gifts. Back down by the stage we got into position for These New Puritans, who weren't as bad as I said (but to be honest, I just wanted to wind up Rob) but weren't the best support act of the last few days. Edging our way down the front in readiness for the headline act we were discussing Nik the tour manager's worrying likeness to Wolverine from the X-Men films...which, us being boys with two curious girls, led into the inevitable argument over who was hotter out of Rogue and Shadowcat.

The disappointing thing about the set (apart from the obligatory drunk fat man in the crowd) was that the vocals were so low down in the mix, I couldn't hear anything. Not a problem, considering that I knew the words anyway (and Can't Find The Door/Stitch Me Back were fun as it showed who the proper fans were) but it ended up with the somewhat disconcerting feeling where I could hear Conic singing over the band! For the last song of the night Steve (who had been forewarned that there would be a stage invasion during ADHD) asked for a member of the audience to come up on stage and play cowbell. Well, Conic was up like a shot! He looked at me and said "come on, the rest of you come up here" and getting a small measure of revenge for my lone stage invasion at Bush Hall I said "nah, I'll be up when the band start". They started and I joined him on stage.

Given how up for it the crowd were I knew that others would follow, so there I was at the front, still wearing my leather jacket as I'm too tight to get it check in at the cloakroom, pulling people up on stage and generally having a good time. Definitely better than the stage invasions at Subways gigs in Harlow! Sweaty and happy, we stumbled outside to find Rosie and Olli had already left, and so we headed back to Jack's. Changing at Hammersmith we got on a Piccadilly line train towards Rayners Lane, and were told by the PA on the train "if you're just joining my train at Hammersmith, this is a Piccadilly line train to Rayners Lane. If you're going further than that you can always change to the Metropolitan line, but I hope you're wrapped up warm as it's a chilly night. Stand clear of the doors, they might hurt you if they close on you".

The announcements continued in that vein throughout the journey, which caused many people to crack up laughing and - shock, horror - provoked actual conversation between passengers! The best part was at Acton Town where "if you're changing trains here for Heathrow the train directly behind us is going your way so you won't have too long to wait. Bon voyage!". As they were walking down the platform at Rayners Lane I thanked them for an entertaining journey, and shall be writing to TfL to praise them if this blog entry ever gets done. We got back to Jack's, after a nice walk under the stars with the astronomy domine, and had a decent night's kip.

Awaking on Thursday we decided to return to the cafe in Uxbridge station for breakfast, the scene of the infamous "strawberries are animals!" discovery. Fully nourished we jumped on a Piccadilly line train and headed into town, pondering what to do before Sian arrived. I was all for staying on the train until the other end of the line at Cockfosters (*giggles*) but as it was a nice sunny day we decided to walk from Covent Garden to Victoria, via Forbidden Planet and the river. Forbidden Planet is a huuuuuge shop dedicated to science fiction, my mecca. I could have spent a lot of money in there but instead settled for just a Serenity graphic novel. From there we stopped in the Disney store (hoping to see Emily's play) and in the London Transport Museum shop, but left empty handed. Walking along by the river we took plenty of pictures, including one I took of two tourists in front of the London Eye on their very nice digital camera.

Every time I see the Houses of Parliament I get the 1812 Overture stuck in my head. As there were plenty of V masks available for a fiver in Forbidden Planet I was loudly regretting not buying another one to wear around the area - a statement I hastily rescinded upon seeing the large men with sub-machine guns protecting the great leaders of this country. By the time we reached Victoria we were ready for the chocolate fudge cake from the pub in the station, but looking at the menu I realised how hungry I was and plumped for a curry instead. When Sian finally appeared we headed off to ULU, stopping to get a doughnut on the way (and I got a free hot chocolate as well).

Inside the pub we bumped into CJ, who I hadn't seen since Blood Red Shoes at Bush Hall back in October, and gradually people arrived in dribs and drabs as it was Shagga's birthday and we bought him a cake. There were some people there who I hadn't spoken to in ages and had no real desire to speak to again, so after picking up ~~Hansel and Gretal~~ Hannah and Greta from the station stayed talking to them, Jack, Matt, Katy and Sian. We left shortly after 8 and it was a good thing too, as there was only one support band and we really wanted to see them.

I first saw Johnny Foreigner supporting Los Campesinos! in Portsmouth at the end of February. I really enjoyed them, and since being underwhelmed by the Subways in Bristol I was more looking forward to them than the main band. Wandering up to the merch stand to buy a t-shirt Kelly (the bassist) spotted my Los Camp tee and almost squeed with delight. After an all too brief discussion her and Junior had to leave, as they were due on stage to play. We trotted down the front and I let those back at the pub know that JoFo were on imminently. The set was good, the crowd seemed to really get into it and I felt justified in buying the CD as well.

We moved off towards the sides in preparation for The Subways, as it had the possibility of getting manic and wanted to stay clear of it. We weren't wrong, and even on the fringes kept getting bumped. As for the band...if you've seen them any time in the last two years you'll know what to expect. You'll know exactly what to expect in terms of banter, just with a few new songs. It's good, but it's very repeatitive. I think I'll make that my last Subways gig for a while. Jack and I were playing "guess the next song" and doing scarily well. As the band came back on for Girls and Boys at the start of the encore I headed back to the cloakroom to get my bag and jacket and sat at the back for that and the long, drawn out closer of Rock n Roll Queen. I ended up having a really nice chat with Junior and Kelly from JoFo instead!

After escorting Katy and Sian back to the station I got an earlier train from the one that I was expecting, and so arrived at Faversham just after midnight. I nipped into the "tiolet" and then tossed a coin to determine my route home, plumping for walking the four miles rather than getting a taxi. Wanting a proper soundtrack I stuck the first CD of Echoes (the Pink Floyd compilation) on my mp3 player and listened to that. Walking through Faversham towards home I had Another Brick In The Wall to set my pace to, and then out of Faversham on a dark country road with no other stimulation save the stars above me and the lights of the motorway junction in the distance listening to the title track, it was brilliant. Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun came on while past the junction in a dark road towards Boughton which was perfect for the dark farmland around me. I arrived home just over an hour after I left the train (one hour and two minutes) to find that on said train was my JoFo t-shirt. The only thing that went wrong over the whole two days.

London stations: Victoria

2008-04-11T14:16:00.004+01:00

Owing to a mixup with timings, I found myself with 45 minutes to kill at Victoria station, so I did what any self-respecting geek would do. But before getting my pint, I had a wander round.

Victoria is the station that all trains from the Chatham Main line from Faversham terminate at. I've visited it countless times, dashed across the concourse in reach of the last train, abused its Dyson Airblades. But rarely have I just wandered round it, so I did. The platform that my train usually arrives at (and often departs from) is platform two, the longest platform on the station. During the many years it was running the boat train would arrive at this platform - it had to be long in order to accommodate the immigration facilities now found at St Pancras. Quite often railtours to the south east and the Orient Express leave from here, so if I'm coming in on another platform (like before the Swindon trip) I'll wander round to my normal platform and see what's what. That said, I normally go through the barriers by platform seven, as there's normally a scrum round the nearer set, and it also leaves me with less of the concourse to battle through to get to the underground.

Victoria station is unique amongst other termini in London, in that it was two seperate buildings knocked through to create one. The shops in the above link are on the dividing line where the old wall was - if you go further along past the doughnut shop and seating towards platform 8 you can see a better example of the wall. This was something I forgot to do during my writeup. Continuing into the "other" station across the immense open concourse (and passing people collecting money for Parkinson's Disease by shaking buckets, something that caused me to laugh out loud and several people to give me a wider berth) I suddenly found myself in the middle of a shopping centre. This sudden change in scenery confused me and I ventured back out onto the station, to the Gatwick Express platforms. Stumbling up an escalator I found myself outside in the April sunshine in a taxi rank, staring at the roof covering my home platforms.

Continuing round the station I decided to enter from the front, taking pictures of each station building before I did. With fifteen minutes remaining before Katy arrived I retired to the pub, sitting on the balcony overlooking the station (if you look carefully below the "Stationary" banner here you can see the chairs I sat on) with a pint of cider to people watch. It got somewhat cold up there, so if you fancy it yourself wear a sweater, but the view is worth it.

Firefox 3.0 beta

2008-04-04T21:14:00.003+01:00

So, I downloaded it after reading an article on The Register. Oh sweet lord it's fast. Even on my five year old PC it's quick, and it doesn't have any of the memory leak problems that FF2 has. The only problem is that the Bookmarks Toolbar folder, which previously was hidden away subtley in my folder list, is now slap bang at the top. Given that this is where I keep my bookmarks that I don't want people to see, I feel a change around is in order.

Download it, it's super quick. It's the best thing to happen to me since Katy.

Bemusement

2008-04-04T11:39:00.004+01:00

So, I'm standing in ~~Our Price~~ ~~Virgin~~ Zavvi.

I've got a bit of time to kill before Whatever Comics opens, and I'm happily listening to Jimi Hendrix played over the store speakers while reading an article about The Eagles. As it's a nice warm day I'm jacketless, with only a Subways t-shirt hiding my modesty.

(And jeans and boots as well, obviously).

Suddenly, I'm jerked back from 1970s California by a brunette in her late 20s asking me a question. "I'm sorry," I reply while checking to see if I've left my BT pass around my neck, "I don't work here."

"I know that," she says, "but I have a request. I was wondering if you could help me as I'm looking for female fronted rock bands. I currently listen to The Faders and Avril Lavigne and want to grow up, so to speak."

Right. Red rag to a bull. The poor girl had to get a basket as she didn't have enough hands for the amount of CDs she had! Of course, I started with Garbage, then a bit of Blondie, The Runaways, Arch Enemy, Die So Fluid, The Duke Spirit, Hole, Babes In Toyland, a spare copy of You Bring Me Down that I found in the albums section, The Donnas, Nightwish, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Be Your Own Pet and Metric.

The thing is, I can't for the life of me work out what it was that gave it away I'd know about femrock. Were it not for perusing Laura-Mary's Facebook page over my breakfast I would've had even less of a clue.

How the West was fun

2008-03-27T19:56:00.004Z

Way back, in the ashes of the Christmas meetup (and for once that's a metaphor), we decided that a trip to see Amie in Swindon would be a good idea. Initially this didn't seem very exciting - there's only been one person in the history of the world to get enthusiastic about going to Swindon and he was soon sectioned. When it was mentioned that there was a museum there dedicated to the Great Western Railway things sounded more fun. After much umming and aahhing about a date The Subways went and announced a tour which included a date in Bristol. It seemed like a good idea at the time to make the two trips on the same day.

The night before I had very little sleep owing to spending most of it on the toilet with severe digestive problems. I decided to take the journey one step at a time, knowing that losing out on £25 worth of gig/train tickets was a more sensible option than collapsing in Bristol out of sheer stubbornness. After a quick detour to McDonalds for breakfast for Katy we got to Canterbury East station and I made sure I'd make it as far as London by buying the return ticket for that journey leg - I sure as hell wasn't going to waste tickets I'd just bought. I felt a bit better after a cup of tea and a hash brown, and then felt a lot better when we pulled into Victoria passing a railtour.

When we made it to Paddington we did wonder why one of our number hadn't texted to ask us which train we were getting and assumed he was already in Swindon, or on his way. Myself and Katy passed the time by reading the Torygraph and discussing the US elections (no, seriously) and arrived in Swindon to find Amie gazing into space - so of course I did the right thing by sneaking up on her and making her jump. Two minutes later we were joined by Jack and Roliver, who had also heard nothing from Matt. Given that we were excited and it was well signposted, we headed off to the museum. Somewhat disappointingly it was more dedicated to the engine works that was formerly there as opposed to just having engines there, but we all had fun playing with the kids games (like at the London Transport Museum really) and the girls...well, christ knows what they were doing here, but they were having fun anyway. We played in the signal box mockup pulling the levers, drew pictures of Amie, made Jack feel posh, and generally had a good time. At one point we were in a lift made by a company called Schindler (no, seriously).

After buying Thomas the Tank Engine Top Trumps we left the museum and caught up with Matt outside, then wandered round the shopping centre for a bit. As this was thoroughly boring and I was feeling distinctly peaky at this point we decided to decamp to the pub. We spent the next hour or so drinking, playing on the quiz machine and trying to dismantle the thing that makes Tardis noises that Rolliver had brought with them. We couldn't, so we just left it there under seat cushions. Time was getting on and we had places to go, people to meet and bands to see, so we went back to the station. Matt decided that now was an opportune time to buy tickets for his trip to Cardiff the following day so queued up at the ticket office. Myself, Jack and Katy bought our tickets from the machine and told him that we were getting the train that left in 5 minutes as we wanted to spend some time at Olli's, rather than just rushing around. Ten minutes after leaving Swindon he finally made it to the platform.

Back at Olli's we dumped our stuff, had an absolutely wonderful cup of tea (well, many cups of tea shared out - I don't mean we only had one cup between the six of us) and Rolliver showed us the lovely cake that they'd made for me and Katy, as on March 26th 2007 (one year previously) we started dating. We went back to the station, collecting Matt, and got the train to Bristol. All day Roliver had been competing with me and Katy to see who could be the most coupley. This went overboard walking to the venue as I crossed the road before Katy, waited ten seconds for her to catch up and then, as we hugged each other, both exclaimed simultaneously "I missed you SO much!".

Bristol Thekla is a very unique venue, from my experience - it's a boat. While it was different, I don't like hazardous metal things to walk into. We sat upstairs for the Culprits, but decided to get down the front for second support Cage The Elephant who quite frankly bored me witless. The most entertaining part was watching the mike for the bass drum get further and further away due to the vibrations from the stage. The band came on ten minutes late, but didn't drop any tracks from the setlist. Opening with Kalifornia it was disappointing that Billy is no longer crowbarring the name of the town into the lyrics. It was nice to hear new songs such as Alright and Obsession which were completely new to me - and older new ones, such as Turnaround and Girls and Boys. The title track from the next album, All or Nothing, sounds immense, but the run through of the older stuff was the same as ever, which was a bit disappointing. Billy spotted us fairly early on and amused himself by swearing at us, ignoring our heckles for Clock. However, when I requested You Got Me I got a stern "no!" in reply which to be honest made the journey worthwhile!

After Rosie got us lost in Bristol we finally made it back to the station in time for the last train, sitting on it I was starting to feel the lack of sleep and knew I wasn't going to have a late night. At around half 12 we turned in and had a fairly good night's sleep, hindered only by having a quilt about the size of a large flannel. Thursday was more relaxing, and we watched Doctor Who and had more tea. My appetite had returned by then so I made the most of it. Around two we ambled back to the station and said our goodbyes. Rolliver went back for food, Jack and Matt stalked the band to Cardiff and me and Katy went home. Amie came with us as far as Swindon as she lives there.

The Eagles

2008-03-24T15:46:00.004Z

Way back in January I spent £140 on two tickets to see The Eagles at the O2 (don't call it the Millennium Dome, they don't like it) for Dad's birthday. On Easter Sunday we set off early, around 2pm, just in case of snow.

Well, the weather held off (apart from being bitterly cold) and we got up to London in plenty of time. On the Old Kent Road we decided to stop in for a KFC - being Tong men, we get hungry regularly. Taking advantage of the new Flavour station things (which were really nice) we sat down and realised that wearing white tops probably wasn't the best idea as they were extremely messy. I avoided spilling either the sauce or the gravy down me but was blind sided by the Pepsi and chucked a lot of that down my top instead.

After food we drove back towards the Greenwich Peninsula and parked up, being fisted for £20 to park the car (mind you, driving up was a hell of a lot warmer than riding). I think we'll get the train to Avril Lavigne in June. Walking up to the Dome I was taken at how many young people were also heading that way - it turns out there was other stuff there for the kids, and I probably would be one of the youngest in the gig. On the path between the car parks and the Dome there was a rather large (we're talking a good five storeys here) metal spike which served no apparent purpose whatsoever, apart from being a severe danger to health and safety - if someone were to fall out of a plane and land on it, they could do themselves a serious injury.

Once inside I was overawed by the architectural splendor and beauty...sorry, I mean I was overawed by how much advertising there was. I felt like I was bombarded with it. The arena entrance was bright and sparkly, and the staff members outside helpfully told me that as an O2 customer I could text to get access to the O2 Lounge. I promptly did, as I have trouble resisting instructions from pretty girls (which is why Katy loves me) and then we wandered round inside. It was like walking round your everyday shopping mall food court, same chain restaurants (although Nando's is the same price as Canterbury, so we'll be eating there before Av Lav). The only popular place was the pub, which had people standing four deep outside watching the football.

Back round the front I got a text saying I'd got access to the O2 lounge so I asked one of the staff members (a fella this time) what I had to do with it. He pointed me in the direction of a redhead and said some other stuff which I didn't hear, owing to the fact that my attention had shifted to the redhead. She gave me and Dad wristbands and we walked down a neon purple tunnel into the Lounge, which was a bar with padded seats and walls. Reasonably priced for a gig venue (£2 for half a litre of Pepsi) we relaxed and marvelled at the silver serving trays with neon blue rings inside. At half 6 when the doors opened we trotted out, towards a lift which took us to the first floor, where we changed and got another lift to the fourth floor (where our seats were - I'm not made of money). As we got to our block the steward asked if we'd like an upgrade.

Never ones to look a gift horse in the mouth we enquired as to what the catch was. "No catch" said the steward, "there are a few empty seats in the lower levels and the band don't like to see them when they're playing". Fair enough we thought, and traded in our tickets. On the way back to the lift we noticed that we were now on the floor. That's right, we'd gone from being up in nosebleed territory to down on the expensive bits, free of charge. Result! Looking over the balcony I saw the queues of people all waiting to get in, something that we'd bypassed. Getting to our new seats we found we were more or less in the centre of the floor seating and we spent the next hour before the band came on giggling to each other about our luck.

As to be expected from a band with a new album out, they opened with a few tracks from it. The fourth song they played was a surprise though. It's a sign of how much confidence a band has in their own material that they can play arguably their most famous song before 8pm in the evening. Hotel California (you knew that, right) got a predictably popular response, but I was surprised to see people who had paid £110 plus for their tickets leaving after that! For a bunch of guys in their sixties, they didn't half move about a lot and I had a cracking time. Well worth the £70 tickets.

Mary le your bone PET

2008-03-18T21:13:00.004Z

(Worst. Title. Ever.)

So, yesterday. Lunch on the train up to London, where I rediscovered just how good Be your own PET are by listening to the earlier stuff on my mp3 player. After the obligatory airblade usage at Victoria it was up to Marylebone, and I have to say I do love changing from the Victoria to Bakerloo lines at Oxford Circus - a nice cross platform change. At Marylebone I met Jack, who was hiding behind a new haircut outside WH Smiths, and we proceeded to explore the station.

Which really didn't take long. First stop was the end of the platform to look back at the building. It's not very big at all, although apparently 6 platforms is the average size. Next stop was the toilets to find, disturbingly, a distinct lack of those hand-dryers we all know and love. Aghast, we continued around the station to find the pub and drink. On the way (about five paces from the toilets and five from the pub - it's not a large station at all) I spotted an internet terminal which proves that 2001: A Space Odyssey may have been more accurate than we first thought.

The pub. The Victoria and Albert, tucked away in one corner (from the Underground station, turn hard right, then right again, and run towards the cheese shop) of the building. First impressions were good - two pool tables, lots of pictures of steam trains, Sky Sports News on a huge TV (with the correct aspect ratio as well) and a quiz machine. Nice, comfy leather seats and a bit on the concourse where you can sit and watch the world go by. So we got our drinks (£4.20 for a Bulmers!) and did just that. We spent nearly an hour supping our pints, scowling at businessmen, discussing the media and watching pigeon aerobatics. While drinking we got to talking about the stations served by London's smallest terminus, and I realised that I had some unfinished business in Buckinghamshire.

Just over four months ago, in a galaxy far far away, me and Jack undertook a form of extreme commuting. As you may remember I failed somewhat in visiting all 274 stations that were on the network at the time - I was one short, missing out Amersham. So we topped up our Oyster cards (£5.50 for a zone 1-9 single! You could get a pint of Bulmers for less than that!) and went on our way. At 3:02pm, four months, one day, nine hours and seventeen minutes after we left Chesham on Children in Need day back in a freezing cold November, I completed the full network. In a freezing cold March.

After a quick check of the TfL journey planner on my pda I realised I had to get the first train back to civilisation in order to get to Kingston in time to buy some records. I had to go all the way into Central London and back out - good thing I run round tube stations for fun! At Rickmansworth our previously quiet carriage was invaded as the local schools kicked out, but bizarrely nobody sat near me and Jack. No pictures from this leg for obvious reasons. I waved goodbye to Jack at Harrow on the Hill, and he went back to Moor Park to take pictures. After a switch at Finchley Road I continued to Waterloo and darted through to the mainline platforms (avoiding snipers) and jumped on a train to Kingston.

At Kingston I realised that just wearing a battered leather jacket and short t-shirt probably wasn't the best choice of clothing as I walked past a brass monkey cradling his testicles. Trotting sharpish down to Banquet Records I spent nearly £40 on the Be your own PET, Operator Please and Los Campesinos! albums, plus two LC! vinyls. Back outside to kill time/queue up and I bit the bullet and spent £4 on a zip up jumper to keep me warm. The band turned up late (and clearly jetlagged, poor mites) so we weren't let back in til 6:15. The division between band and fans was marked by a piece of parcel tape on the floor which said "please do not cross". The crowd, once we all packed in, was deathly quiet and blatantly listening into the band's discussions. They kicked off with Black Hole, which those who had heard from a leaked version tried not to sing along to. This was followed by We Will Vacation, which everyone joined in with, and then The Kelly Affair which saw Jonas break his guitar and led to a five minute break. The momentum didn't disappear with the next song, "Adventure...on crack".

Open up your choice of mp3 playing software and cue up Adventure. Before you hit play, increase the speed to 1.5 times. That was what it was like, it was amazing. After a quick change of guitar again it was back to Zombie Graveyard Party and then the first song where Jemina actually looked like she was having fun, with Becky. This led into Food Fight, then Bicycle, and finally they closed with a furious rendition of Wildcat. We were then herded outside back into the cold to queue up for the signing, meaning those who were at the front of the set were now at the back of the queue (unless you sidled in next to two girls who were too scared to object - but once inside the store I let them meet the band ahead of me, evening out any karma). Sadly (or perhaps thankfully) Jemina didn't recognise me as "that asshole" and I got mine and Katy's albums signed and flitted out into the night like a moth to the...dark. I need better similes.

Despite the best efforts of South West Trains I made it back to Victoria in time to get my dinner, run round to the departure boards to see which platform the 20:03 train to Canterbury East was going from and found...that it had been cancelled due to a broken train at Chatham. Cursing the local scallies, who I'm sure just nicked the wheels off it, I put alternate plans into action and jumped on an Ashford train to go the long way round. I managed to get a seat, and then kept people from sitting next to me by producing the loudest, most pungent fart I've ever done in public. Hey, I got peace and quiet, ok?

What a note to end it on.

Bikes

2008-03-14T22:56:00.003Z

So, my bike got serviced yesterday.

It came in £30 under budget, which was good. I'd budgeted for £200 to go on it, and it cost £170, so had a nice Nando's meal out of the change. (Incidentally Ealing Common is the closest tube station to a Nando's restaurant, in that they are next door to one another.) On the plus side, having had my front brakes repaired I can now stop fairly promptly. This was fun riding home in the rain yesterday, on wet roads with a feather sensitive front brake.

As lists seem to be a running theme for this blog (who can guess which song title I'll use for my end of YEAR roundup of my LISTS? Anyone?) have a list of the bikes I've had so far.

1a. Suzuki GS250T - X reg
My first bike, a birthday present from my parents in August 2003. Passed my test September 24th that year, blew the bike up around 8am one Sunday the following December due to a lack of oil.
1b. Suzuki GS250T - W reg
My second bike, exact same make, model and colour as the first, one year older but with less miles. Purchased around 9 hours after I destroyed the first one. Lasted me a good few months, and even took me to Chichester and back in one day (around 250 miles). Sold to a gentleman who lived outside Cheltenham after it appeared in the Sussex edition of Friday-Ad in May 05. Rode it up there, got the train back (which was exciting).
2. Honda CB500 - L reg
Bought January 2005. Cost me £400 from a guy who worked near me, sold on 18 months later for £375 - not a bad rate of depreciation. Took me to gigs in Colchester and Oxford without trouble - in fact, the only reason I got rid of it was because I was handed down my Mum's bike which was bigger. Not as mean looking though.
3. Yamaha YX600 - C reg
As mentioned above, Mum's bike so didn't cost me a damn thing. Japanese import so it's a bugger to get parts for though. Tends to wobble at 105mph so I keep it below the ton. I love it to bits though, and like Katy I can't see me getting rid of it or getting a younger model for ages. Unlike Katy parts tend to fall off it a little too often, hence why I've named it Serenity.

London Stations

2008-03-12T13:54:00.005Z

I've never been to London Marylebone station.

Granted, there are a fair number of railway stations in the UK that I've also never been to. Thurso, for one. But considering how much time I spend in London, particularly on the railways/underground, for there to be a mainline terminus that I've not visited seems silly. I think then that I shall have to go on Monday on my day off, to photograph and blog about it. In fact if I manage to get it working, I may even blog it from the station.

Stations I've visted:

Blackfriars - several trains home from here at the weekend due to engineering works.
Cannon Street - as above, including one occasion last March which involved a dramatic dive onto the train just as the doors closed.
Charing Cross - tiny, soulless, and depressing. Another termini for weekend services from the Kent coast.
Euston - Spent an hour and a half here with a tired and emotional Rosie.
Fenchurch Street - Visited (albeit briefly) on the all stations challenge last November. If I decide to make this a regular feature, then Fenchurch Street will be the next visit.
King's Cross - Spent an enjoyable few hours getting drunk here before Laura's party.
Liverpool Street - Left here to go to Hertford in October. Also passed through a few times.
London Bridge - Changed here for the Underground in the aforementioned Hertford trip.
Moorgate - Only been through on the Underground, so will visit again. These visits will also work well as research for the London Termini pub crawl.
Paddington - Station for adventures in the West, meeting Amie, and the fantastic Mad Bishop and Bear pub.
St. Pancras - Wandered round shortly after opening. Wasn't impressed.
Victoria - home station. I come in and out of here every trip.
Waterloo - The station I'll go to to get to Kingston on Monday.

I have a funny feeling that lists may be a predominant part of this blog.

Tapes and Tapes

2008-03-10T23:33:00.001Z

Making a mixtape is really, really hard.

I thought "oh, I'll just cobble together a random mix of bands I like, it'll be easy then I'll get an early night". That was nearly two hours ago. What's worse is that it's still ongoing - you try finding a bridge between The Kills - Now Wow and Goldfrapp's Utopia involving a mellow male vocalist who isn't David Ford.

I wish I'd got some David Berkeley mp3s from Katy now.

"The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules."

I try not to make too many gaps between songs, I like it to flow from one to the next. Hence I was way, way too happy to discover that the outro to You!Me!Dancing! tessellates rather too well with the intro to Rockin' in the Free World. In the same way, the theme of Say Something, Say Anything matches with Portions For Foxes - although I'm making this for a friend who's just split up with her longtime partner, so I might try and finish on something cheery. What's the closing artist? Easyworld.

Track listing:

Garbage - Bad Boyfriend One of my favourite side ones track ones. More original than Smells Like Teen Spirit, anyway.
Led Zeppelin - Rock n Roll As the quote goes, kickin' it up a notch. Also a sign that it's not just contemporary artists either.
The Duke Spirit - Lion Rip And increasing the tempo once again. Two and a half minutes of barely restrained emotion, building to the first peak of the CD.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts So we catch a breather, with a nice slow burning song which again builds into...
Jenny Lewis - Big Guns ...a country song? It doesn't sound too romantic...why does every song have to be about love, or the lack of it? I feel another High Fidelity quote coming on.
The Kills - No Wow Well, at least it's not about love. A nice, sleazy, throbbing bass line (listen to it, you'll see I'm not being dirty for the sake of it) and plenty of sexual innuendos - we've moved from 50's high school love to a rough shag in a dark seedy alleyway.
The Subways - Lines of Light (instrumental version) This bridging song was the hardest thing I've done regarding this tape. It seems like a bit of an abrupt jump, from the bass line almost dropping off a cliff to the acoustic guitar intro of the track. But it's a nice break from the onslaught of the previous half dozen songs and leads the ear nicely into...
Goldfrapp - Utopia These italics are really annoying now. Still one of my favourite 'Frapp songs. A song I know she's got, because I bought her Felt Mountain many moons ago in exchange for some Subways gloves, and a bit of familiarity in case her attention is wandering.
Los Campesinos! - You! Me! Dancing! I tried to get We Throw Parties... into the tracklisting somewhere but wherever I put it, it just jarred with those around it. So I went for this one. Yet another slow burning song building up to a big ending, it just exudes fun.
Neil Young - Rockin' In The Free World When I make a mix CD, I try to make it like the mixtapes of yore - with a side A and a side B. I usually kick off side B with this song as it's got such a strong intro. However, it matches perfectly with the outro of Y!M!D! - almost a little too perfectly, like the remastered CD of Dark Side Of The Moon where The Great Gig In The Sky overlaps Money to mask the break between sides.
Blood Red Shoes - Say Something, Say Anything Well, the intro matches the previous song, and I wanted a BRS song on there somewhere. Might not have been the wisest choice given the content though. Personally, it's gone from one of my favourite BRS songs to a song similar to Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt - an amazing song, but one I can't listen to that often.
Rilo Kiley - Portions For Foxes So, lets have a happier song then. Well, not quite, but "baby, you're bad news" might strike some resonance with her.
Be Your Own PET! - Heart throb Wake up! Just over two minutes, and possibly 500 beats crammed in there. I really suck choosing tactful songs. Don't ask me to playlist a funeral, you'll probably get Send In The Clowns mixed with Rammstein.
Metric - Poster of a Girl It's likely she'll appreciate the two Canadian artists on here (you try finding more who aren't Avril Lavigne, Bryan Adams or Celine bloody Dion) and it works well to bring the pace down.
Blur - The Universal On the home straight now, not long left, and a truely epic song which fits surprisingly well with PoaG before it. The strings compliment the normal sound rather than overwhelm it - a song to listen to watching the sun burst through the clouds to remind of you of the beauty in this life.
Easyworld - Goodnight A song that slings it's arm around your shoulders, buys you a fresh pint and says "cheer up mate. You're over the worst of it now, you've got lots to look forward to" (and by this I mean her life, not the end of the CD). I just wish it didn't end with that quartet of lines implying I'm only making it to get in her knickers!

I'm not sure if this post works best as a blog introduction, sleeve notes for said CD, or a way of keeping my ramblings off the Blood Red Shoes board. Whatever, it's done now.