More from the files:
"I'm fed up with talking to those bloody Pakis in India!"
I wasn't allowed to call him an idiot on the phone. Despite my protestations that he was a complete berk, apparently it wouldn't be professional to point out the customer's shortcomings. My response of "but how else are they going to know?" was dismissed.
Also, we have strict procedures now on setting up email addresses for new broadband connections - the criteria is customer's first name, customer's surname and then a three digit number. Earlier today I was setting up internet for a customer, who was described as "completely barmy" by her son, who I was dealing with on the phone. The guy was a laugh, and I enjoyed talking to him, but the best bit came when I was setting the email address up.
"Ok, now I need you to get a three digit number from your mum, this'll be on the end of her email address, ideally something that's memorable to her."
"Ok then...Mum! This fella wants a three digit number that you'll remember!"
*faintly, in the background* "What's he want that for? My bank PIN's four digits, will that do?"
"Nah, something smaller, like 1-2-3!"
*still faintly* "Ok, how about 8-9-10?"
I swear I heard the son facepalm over the phone.